历年考研英语大作文命题往往聚焦社会、经济、文化与教育等核心话题。本文精解的2017年考研英语一真题,正是考研英语作文真题范文常考方向中的代表题。透过启航老师逐段批注,可帮助考生建立稳定的写作思路。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man lying on the sofa and saying he have many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand, we can see a boy is making a plan that he want to read zo books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey readers that taking action is the brush that paints a bright future, while talking without action is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, making clearly target and taking action can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfullment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self-consuming. What"s more, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, taking action and really working has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its has become evident.
In brief, taking action is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Additionally, we must aware the detrimental effect of talking without action.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:saying he have
批改:“saying he have” 存在主谓不一致问题,应改为 “saying he has”。
原文: a boy is making a plan
批改:“a boy is making a plan” 和 “he want” 也存在主谓不一致,应分别为 “a boy making a plan” (使用现在分词短语作后置定语更简洁) 和 “he wants”。
原文:zo books t
批改:“zo books” 是 “20 books” 或 “twenty books” 的笔误。
原文:convey readers th
批改:convey readers” 中介词使用不当,应为 “convey to readers”。
原文:he left-hand cartoon, there is a man lying on the sofa and saying he have many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand, we can see a boy is making a plan that he want to read zo books this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey readers that taking action is the brush that paints a bright future, while talking without action is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:你准确地描述了两幅漫画的核心场景,并形成了鲜明的对比。更重要的是,你提炼出的寓意不仅精准,而且用词高级、比喻生动,展现了优秀的语言潜力。主要的提升点在于确保主谓一致和介词搭配等语法细节的准确性。
原文:making clearly target
批改:“making clearly target” 中,副词 “clearly” 不能修饰名词 “target”,应改为 “setting clear targets
原文:self-fulfullm
批改:“self-fulfullment” 是 “self-fulfillment” 的拼写错误
原文:taking action and rea
批改:第二个论点中,“taking action and really working has become...” 主语是复数概念,谓语动词应用 “have become”。
原文:working has become
批改:第二个论点中,“taking action and really working has become...” 主语是复数概念,谓语动词应用 “have become”。
原文: has becom
批改:句末 “and its has become evident” 表意重复且语法错误(its是物主代词,不能作主语),可以删除,使句子更简洁有力。
原文:is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, making clearly target and taking action can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfullment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than self-consuming. What"s more, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, taking action and really working has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its has become evident.
批改:本段从“促进个人成长”和“成为卓越关键”两个层面论证,结构清晰,思辨性很强。第一个论点的论述非常充实,“self-consuming” (自我消耗) 这个词用得尤其出彩
原文:aware th
批改:“we must aware” 中, “aware” 是形容词,不能直接作谓语,应改为 “we must be aware of”。
原文:brief, taking action is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality. Additionally, we must aware the detrimental effect of talking without action.
批改::结尾段总结精炼,再次点明主旨,并发出了有力的呼吁。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17分
总分与总评
这篇作文内容切题,结构完整,层次清晰,熟练地使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。存在少数语言错误。
这篇作文最让我欣赏的地方在于你深刻的立意和高阶的语言表达能力。你不仅能精准地解读漫画寓意,还能运用“brush that paints a bright future”、“shackle that hinders progress”、“catalyst”等一系列精妙的比喻和词汇进行富有哲理的论证,这已经达到了相当优秀的水平。
请特别关注主谓一致和词性搭配(如形容词修饰名词,系动词后接形容词等)。这些细节是通向更高分数段的关键。在写作后,可以快速进行一轮专项检查。
在完成句子后,可以再读一遍,删去任何冗余的词语(如第二段最后的“and its has become evident”),这会让你的论证更有力。
很多考研英语考生都遇到过写作时思路枯竭、句式单一的问题,本文精解的2017年考研英语一范文正是突破这一瓶颈的优质范本。启航教育写作主讲会针对考研英语一常考话题逐一拆解,让考研英语作文真题范文写作变得有迹可循。
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