考研英语二2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

正在备考考研英语的你，是否还在为2016年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁？本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文，系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评，你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the purpose of travelling among some university"s students. It takes the lead for youngests to enjoy the view at 37%. followed by releaving their preasure at 33% Additionally, factors such as taking up the ability to be independent and making friends are also considered, accounting for 6% and 9% respectively, as well as, 15% is else

The core reasons for the observed phenonmenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growtn and elevate the purchasing power of the populate, allowing them to afford aomob travelling that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advantages of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why such high por-portion of people choose travelling for fun rather than staying at home or working.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figure acurately and truthfully reflect the thoices of students in college, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：versity"s stud

批改："university"s students" 表达稍显冗余，直接用 "university students" 更自然。

原文：oungests to

批改："youngests" 拼写错误，应为 "youngsters" 或直接使用 "students"。

原文：releaving their preasu

批改："releaving their preasure" 两个词均拼写错误，应为 "relieving their pressure"。

原文：aking up

批改："taking up the ability to be independent" 用词不当，"taking up" 通常指开始从事某项活动，这里建议改为 "cultivating the ability of independence" 或直接说 "for independence"。

原文：well as, 15% is

批改："as well as, 15% is else" 结构错误且不正式，应改为 "with other purposes accounting for the remaining 15%"。

原文：he pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the purpose of travelling among some university"s students. It takes the lead for youngests to enjoy the view at 37%. followed by releaving their preasure at 33% Additionally, factors such as taking up the ability to be independent and making friends are also considered, accounting for 6% and 9% respectively, as well as, 15% is else

批改：图表描述的大框架是好的，但存在一些影响得分的拼写和用词错误。需要特别注意名词所有格、动词搭配和拼写的准确性。

原文：onmenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growtn

批改："phenonmenon" 拼写错误，应为 "phenomenon"。 "growtn" 拼写错误，应为 "growth"。

原文：opulate, allowing them to afford aomob travelling that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake

批改："populate" 用词错误，想表达的是 "population"（民众）或 "public"。 "aomob travelling" 严重拼写错误，应为 "tourism" 或 "travel"。

原文： por-portion of

批改：por-portion" 拼写错误，应为 "proportion"。

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenonmenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growtn and elevate the purchasing power of the populate, allowing them to afford aomob travelling that were previously deemed luxury items. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advantages of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why such high por-portion of people choose travelling for fun rather than staying at home or working.

批改：你分析的是“为什么大家有钱去旅游”，但题目要求分析的是“大学生旅游的目的为何是这些”。你的论据（政府推动经济、购买力提升）与论证对象（大学生的心理动机，如缓解压力、广交朋友）有些脱节

原文：l figure acurately and truthfully reflect the thoices of students in college, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改："figure" 应改为复数 "figures"。 "acurately" 拼写错误，应为 "accurately"。 "thoices" 拼写错误，应为 "choices"。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8分

主要失分点：第二段内容偏离主题，属于“未能有效阐述内容要点”。同时，全篇多处存在拼写和用词错误。

优点：文章结构完整，段落清晰，也尝试使用复杂句式和高阶词汇。

总评与修改建议：

这篇作文的“骨架”搭得很好，三段式结构非常清晰。但主要问题在于“核心论证段落跑题了。审题是动笔前第一要务！

核心修改建议：

紧扣题目，分析动机：第二段的分析必须直接回应图表中的“目的”。

针对“缓解压力 (33%)”：可以谈大学生面临的学业竞争激烈，需要通过旅行来放松和 recharge。

针对“欣赏风景 (37%)”：可以谈年轻人对探索世界、开阔眼界的内在渴望。

针对“广交朋友 (9%)”和“独立能力 (6%)”：可以谈旅行是重要的社交和实践方式。

请务必在写完后留出2-3分钟快速检查，重点看名词复数、动词时态和常用词的拼写。这是最不应该丢分的地方。

为你提供一个第二段的修改思路，供你参考：

原文问题：分析了政府和经济等宏观因素，与大学生群体脱节。

修改方向：聚焦于大学生自身的心理和需求。

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