思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2016年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
What is exhibited in the pie chart is the purpose of college students traveling. According to the statistics provided above, enjoying nature occupies 37%, taking the lion"s share. Reducing pressure, making friends, developing independent ability and other purpose account for 33%, 9%, 6%, 15% respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To begin with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a kind ecological system, enabling university students to experience the beauty and peacefulness of nature through travel. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, go traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the pie is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain ret relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:hat is exhibited in the pie chart is the purpose of college students traveling. According to the statistics provided above, enjoying nature occupies 37%, taking the lion"s share. Reducing pressure, making friends, developing independent ability and other purpose account for 33%, 9%, 6%, 15% respectively.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:go
批改:going 动名词做主语
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To begin with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a kind ecological system, enabling university students to experience the beauty and peacefulness of nature through travel. In addition, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, go traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the pie is unsurprising.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:ret
批改:删除
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain ret relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13 /15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
首段总体概括图表主题,详细列出关键数据变化;第二段分析原因,可从政府鼓励、社会压力增大、学生追求等方面进行论述;第三段评论与展望,预测未来趋势可能持续,并强调其对个人和社会发展的积极意义。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2016年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
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