面对2013年考研英语一大作文,许多同学最关心的是有没有可复制的写作模板。本文带来的高分范文严格遵循启航考研英语高分框架,从开头引入、主体论证到结尾呼应,全文清晰流畅,是考研英语考生的必备学习资料。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are a block of graduate students facing many choices toward different future, which may confuse youngests constanty. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that graduats, who are under great preasure, are misleaded to make choices, is an issue that regwines great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, making students under great stress is not only merely a chomic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles neel of many youth, It is silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide. What"s more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations to support students find their available roads might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that more individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the opportunities to try different ways.
How can we put an end to the problem of the difficult future for students? It is suggested by many that we needa package deal, including giving opportunities to make pre-job. With the support of government and schools, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are a block of graduate students facing many choices toward different future, which may confuse youngests constanty.
批改:“a block of”使用不当,一般不用来修饰“graduate students”;“youngests”拼写错误,应为“youngsters”;“constanty”拼写错误,应为“constantly”。
原文:Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that graduats, who are under great preasure, are misleaded to make choices, is an issue that regwines great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:“graduats”拼写错误,应为“graduates”;“preasure”拼写错误,应为“pressure”;“misleaded”形式错误,应为“misled”;句子后半部分“is an issue...”缺少主语
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. but two of them are particularly significant.
批改:“but”前应该是逗号,导致句子结构不完整。
原文:First and foremost, making students under great stress is not only merely a chomic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles neel of many youth,
批改:“not only merely”语义重复;“chomic”拼写错误,可能是想表达“chronic”
原文:It is silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.
批改:“is silently erodes”结构混乱,应改为“silently erodes”。
原文:What"s more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations to support students find their available roads might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that more individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the opportunities to try different ways.
批改:句子较长,但整体逻辑较清晰。
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of the difficult future for students? It is suggested by many that we needa package deal, including giving opportunities to make pre-job. With the support of government and schools, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:“needa”拼写错误,应为“need a”;“make pre - job”表述错误,可能是想表达“pre - job training”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
题目要求:文章整体围绕漫画展开写作,尝试完成了题目所要求的三个关键任务。开篇对漫画内容进行了简单描述,提及了毕业生面临多种未来选择这一画面核心元素;中间部分对漫画意图传达的意义进行了解读,指出毕业生在压力下被误导做选择这一现象受到广泛关注;结尾部分给出了针对学生未来困境问题的评论和建议,从结构上看基本符合题目要求。
语言表达:使用了一些较为正式的词汇,如“evidently”“thought - provoking”“particularly significant”“draws great attention”等,在一定程度上提升了文章的正式感和专业性。
内容层面:能够从多个角度分析毕业生面临选择困难这一现象背后的原因,如提到学生压力大以及缺乏明确规则制度支持、个人追求经济利益忽视其他机会等,有一定的思考深度。
修改建议:仔细检查并修正所有的拼写错误,确保词汇使用准确。
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