考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2013年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are a crowd of graduate students standing before a conjunction, which consists of different paths like found a job, to be a postgraduate student, study abroad, and start a business. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is our own choices that play an important and positive role both in our personal life and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but twe of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, a right choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more? The quality of being unwilling to be ordinary brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers, its root cause stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zone, embrace a brighter future and gain recognitions from others.

In brief, a positive choice is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, only by doing so, can we develop individual potential and create a more happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：conjunction

批改：crossroads

原文：conjunction

批改：十字路口用crossroads

原文：found

批改：要用动名词 finding

原文：to be a

批改：要用动名词 pursuing

原文：student

批改：学习要用studies

原文：study

批改：要用动名词 studying

原文： start

批改：要用动名词 starting

原文：As shown in the picture, there are a crowd of graduate students standing before a conjunction, which consists of different paths like found a job, to be a postgraduate student, study abroad, and start a business. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is our own choices that play an important and positive role both in our personal life and in society.

批改：对漫画的描述较为全面，个人观点正确，注意语法问题

原文：twe

批改：two

原文：? The

批改：逗号+小写

原文：recognitions

批改：不可数，应去掉s

原文：, only

批改：句号+大写

原文：more

批改：happier本身是比较级。这里应删除

原文：,

批改：多余，应删除

原文：hat is more? The quality of being unwilling to be ordinary brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers, its root cause stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zone, embrace a brighter future and gain recognitions from others

批改：论点是 选择的重要性，这里讲的是不甘平凡的品质，与论点不太相关，可以再思考下

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but twe of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, a right choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more? The quality of being unwilling to be ordinary brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers, its root cause stems from teenagers’ desire to step out of their comfort zone, embrace a brighter future and gain recognitions from others.

批改：论证了选择的 重要性，论证部分第二点内容可以再思考下

原文： positive

批改：改为appropriate（恰当的）更合适

原文：this practice

批改：指代不明，可改为appropriate choices

原文：In brief, a positive choice is the catalyst for personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, only by doing so, can we develop individual potential and create a more happier life.

批改：呼应论点，注意用词的准确性和语法问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/20

题目要求：对漫画的描述较为详细，个人观点符合题意，但论述内容需要调整下；

语言表达：全文用了一些模板句，也存在一些拼写问题和语法问题，表达上还有提升的空间；

行文逻辑：第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点，第二段展论述，第三段呼应上文总结全文，架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；优化论述内容；继续积累经典句式；加强语法练习；

同学要继续多多练习，期待你的进步~

本文的2013年考研英语一高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文话题写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲，配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务，是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。