考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

2016年考研英语一大作文围绕哪一类话题命题？本文精选的范文聚焦考研英语一写作技巧话题方向，结合启航教育多年考研英语一教学沉淀，从描述图表、解读寓意到发表评论三大角度，完整呈现高分作文的内在结构。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV on the sofa, and telling his son to study seriously. On the contrary, in the right-hand, we can see a father and his son study together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that excellent example is the brush that paints a bright future life, while wrong example is the shackle that hinders children’s progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, excellent example can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making them stand out from ordinary people. What’s more, neglecting the role of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s development, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

In brief, parents make positive examples is the catalyst for children growth, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, parents should act in this practice; additionally, they must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of wrong example to ensure schildren growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV on the sofa, and telling his son to study seriously. On the contrary, in the right-hand, we can see a father and his son study together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that excellent example is the brush that paints a bright future life, while wrong example is the shackle that hinders children’s progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, excellent example can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making them stand out from ordinary people. What’s more, neglecting the role of example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s development, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：parents make positive examples

批改：这句话出现两个谓语，语法错误，可以这样改一下：for parents， making positive examples

原文：children

批改：children"s

原文：schildren

批改：children"s

原文：In brief, parents make positive examples is the catalyst for children growth, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, parents should act in this practice; additionally, they must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of wrong example to ensure schildren growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误，注意名词所有格的正确使用；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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