距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2011年考研英语二批改范例,紧扣考研英语二真题写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts car-brand market occupation of some countries, China, Japan and America in 2008 and 2009
In 2008, the percentage of Chinese brand was 25%, but by 2009, this figure rate had substantially risen to 33% In contrast, the number of Japanese brand occupied experlenced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period Simultaneously, the number of American remained stable at around 10%
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound national production system of car, enabling car engineers and companies to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to choosing Chinese car brand and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted pheno-menon in the chart is unsurprising
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of Chinese brand will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese car will likely continue to decrease relatively stable
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:figure rate
批改:this figure rate 语义重复,figure 或 rate 保留一个即可。
原文:he number of Japanese brand occu
批改:the number of Japanese brand occupied experlenced... 这一句存在多处错误:1) the number of brand 是错误表达,图表展示的是比例,应使用 the share/market share of Japanese brands;2) occupied 和 experlenced(拼写错误,应为 experienced)两个动词堆叠,造成语法错误。
原文:er of American rem
批改:the number of American 同样错误,应为 the market share of American brands。
原文:e bar chart clearly depicts car-brand market occupation of some countries, China, Japan and America in 2008 and 2009 In 2008, the percentage of Chinese brand was 25%, but by 2009, this figure rate had substantially risen to 33% In contrast, the number of Japanese brand occupied experlenced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period Simultaneously, the number of American remained stable at around 10%
批改:描述段抓住了核心信息,但在术语准确性和语法结构上存在明显问题
原文:pheno-menon i
批改:pheno-menon 拼写错误,应为 phenomenon。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound national production system of car, enabling car engineers and companies to have ample opportunities for further education. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1980s and 1990s, are accustomed to choosing Chinese car brand and have become the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted pheno-menon in the chart is unsurprising
批改:本段的论证出现了逻辑偏差。你提到的第一个原因(政府建设生产体系、工程师深造)过于宏观和间接,与“市场份额短期变化”这一具体现象关联不强。第二个原因(年轻一代成为消费主力)是相关的,但可以更直接地联系到“民族自豪感”或“对国产品牌认可度的提升”。整体来看,论证没有精准地解释图表反映的直接原因。
原文:mber of Chinese bran
批改:the number of Chinese brand 错误依旧,应为 the market share of Chinese brands。
原文:at about future trends? I am confident that the number of Chinese brand will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese car will likely continue to decrease relatively stable
批改:结尾段功能完整
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10分
优点:结构完整,覆盖了内容要点,趋势判断基本正确。
主要失分点:
语法与词汇:全篇持续出现关键术语错误(如用number代替share)和个别拼写错误。
内容逻辑:第二段原因分析不够贴切、直接,影响了论证的有效性。
总评与修改建议:
图表描述的是市场份额(Market Share),是一个比例、份额,而不是一个具体的数量(Number)。这是图表作文的基石,必须准确。
当分析“国产品牌份额上升”时,请放弃那些万能的“政府、社会”大词,转而使用更直接、更商业化的理由。例如:
产品力提升:国产品牌在质量、设计和性价比上的进步。(Improved quality, design, and price-performance ratio of domestic cars.)
消费者偏好变化:民众对国产品牌的信任度和认同感增强。(Growing consumer trust and national pride in domestic brands.)
市场竞争:有效的市场营销策略和更广泛的销售网络。(Effective marketing strategies and broader distribution networks.)
透过这篇2011年考研英语二批改范文,相信你对考研英语二真题的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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