作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2017年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一大作文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting near a big bookshelf, and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand ath cartoon, the man is sitting near his desk, where is a few books, and expecting that he could finish twenty books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, daydreaming is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and a preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, being practical is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ht-hand ath carto
批改:right-hand ath cartoon -> right-hand cartoon。这里“ath”是明显的笔误,直接删除即可。
原文:where is a few books, and ex
批改:where is a few books -> on which there are a few books 或 with a few books on it。关系副词“where”引导的从句中缺少主语,使用“there be”句型或介词短语“with...”来修饰“desk”更符合语法习惯。
原文:he left-hand cartoon, there is a man, sitting near a big bookshelf, and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand ath cartoon, the man is sitting near his desk, where is a few books, and expecting that he could finish twenty books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:你成功描述了两幅图的对比,并引出了深刻的主旨
原文: a prevent
批改:a preventing -> preventing。多余的冠词“a”需删除。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, daydreaming is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and a preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
批改:正反论证的框架非常清晰,逻辑严密,“heavy chain”的比喻也延续得很好
原文: brief, being practical is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:结尾段总结有力,措辞稳重,并再次成功运用了“catalyst”等高级词汇
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
综合评分与总评
这篇作文结构完整,论证深刻,语言表达上也有不少亮点。
总评与修改建议:
追求语法与用词的绝对精准:请特别留意非谓语动词和从句的运用(如with a few books on it),并避免生造词(如self-consuming)。平时在阅读中多积累地道表达,你的语感会越来越强。
优化论述的广度:在分析影响时,可以尝试将论述对象从“children”自然过渡到“individual”,这能使你的论证更具普遍性和说服力。
读完本文,你对2017年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一大作文写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握?启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包,包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测,在线咨询即可免费领取。
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