考研英语二2011年大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2011年考研英语二批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语二写作技巧教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语二2011年大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、考研英语二2011年大作文批改例文

This line chart clearly depicts the market proportion of cars in China in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the number percentage of domestic brands was 25%, but by 2009, this rate had gradually risen to around 32%. Meanwhile, the proportion of Japanese and American brands experienced a significant decline of about 9% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brands remained stable and steady.

The core reasons behind this phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the car conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford domestic automobiles. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of Japanese and American brands will likely continue to decrease.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： and American

批改：描述图表错误，只有日系车品牌市场份额下降，删除即可。

原文：the number percentage of

批改：这个短语造成语意重复，删除 number

原文：car

批改：修饰后面的 symphony 很突兀，删除car 就是一个恰当的比喻，“正如指挥家引领着变革交响乐的旋律一般”

原文：This line chart clearly depicts the market proportion of cars in China in 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the number percentage of domestic brands was 25%, but by 2009, this rate had gradually risen to around 32%. Meanwhile, the proportion of Japanese and American brands experienced a significant decline of about 9% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of American brands remained stable and steady. The core reasons behind this phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the car conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford domestic automobiles. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing an extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of domestic brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the number of Japanese and American brands will likely continue to dec

批改： 全文与范文相似度较高，但 behind this phenomenon 我觉得已经有意识去替换模板句，形成自己的语言风格，值得鼓励，加油

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12 /15

从结构层面看，本文脉络清晰，采用三段式写作，开头清楚表明图片，中间进行了分析，最后做出了总结；

从内容层面看，描述图表内容一定要正确，不能违背题意。第二段的分析很好，内容详实，丰富具体；

从语言层面看，固定短语要用对，the number of、 the percentage of 是两个短语，不能叠加使用。

建议：在范文的基础上，积累高频词的多种表达替换模板句中的某些部分，去形成自己的语言，加油。

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