考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

当你坐在考研英语一考场，面对2016年大作文题目的那一瞬间，是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章？本文这篇批改例文，正是考研英语一写作冲刺话题下的标准范本，适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

As is vividly depicted in the left cartoon, one parent is urging his son to study hard while he is watching TV. In contrast, in the right cartoon, the other parent sets an example by studying with his son together. From my perspective, the picture that reflect a thought- provoking social phenomenon: the power of examples is vital to private individuals.

When subjected to analysis, but a close inspection of the idea would reveal that a good example really influence ourselves. First and foremost, it is a truth widely acknowledged that all other factors being equal, a good example could be the decisive key between individual success and not. In addition, since young people always play a vanguard role in promoting social progress, and a good example exerts remarkable influence on the development of their characters, it will inevitably shape their view of life in the foreseeable future. Consequently, the lack of the powerful of examples will hinder us from making substantial progress and eventually losing the drive to move forward.

Overall, the power of examples is as significance as water to fish. In the meantime, it is necessary for relevant people to guide youngsters. To be specific, the parents should lead by example and provide their children with a good living environment, teachers should provide open courses and guidance to infuse good sense into everyone. The more rapidly concrete efforts are made, the more beneficial it will be for us in the coming future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：that

批改：去掉

原文：reflect

批改：单三reflects

原文：private

批改：多余删去

原文：As is vividly depicted in the left cartoon, one parent is urging his son to study hard while he is watching TV. In contrast, in the right cartoon, the other parent sets an example by studying with his son together. From my perspective, the picture that reflect a thought- provoking social phenomenon: the power of examples is vital to private individuals.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：influence

批改：单三influences

原文：ourselves

批改：us宾格就可以

原文：not

批改：改成和success对应的failure

原文：of

批改：of多余去掉

批改：缺少from

原文：n subjected to analysis, but a close inspection of the idea would reveal that a good example really influence ourselves. First and foremost, it is a truth widely acknowledged that all other factors being equal, a good example could be the decisive key between individual success and not. In addition, since young people always play a vanguard role in promoting social progress, and a good example exerts remarkable influence on the development of their characters, it will inevitably shape their view of life in the foreseeable future. Consequently, the lack of the powerful of examples will hinder us from making substantial progress and eventually losing the drive to move forward.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：significance

批改：用形容词significant

原文：teachers

批改：两个独立分句缺少正确连接词，前加and

原文：Overall, the power of examples is as significance as water to fish. In the meantime, it is necessary for relevant people to guide youngsters. To be specific, the parents should lead by example and provide their children with a good living environment, teachers should provide open courses and guidance to infuse good sense into everyone. The more rapidly concrete efforts are made, the more beneficial it will be for us in the coming future.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意词性的正确使用；句式方面，注意句子结构的完整；语法方面，注意正确使用从句以及主谓一致。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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