考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一写作冲刺常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

This is a simple but satirical drawing.On the boat,there are two youngsters,appreciating the natural beauty in front and throwing rubbish into the water.Although. this is a tourist attraction,the lake water become rather dirty,with watermelon peel, plastic bottles,fish bones floating on it.Finally,several Chinese characters can be noticed,which say that this is a trip of dropping waste.

Such scene above can be associated with certain tourists’ inferior quality in reality. Admittedly,in contemporary China,some travelers" uncivilized behaviors have been reported by various media,such as discarding garbage everywhere,smoking and talking loudly in public places.This phenomenon is particularly worth concerning.It is these terrible behaviors that cause us not to enjoy the healthy,clean and tidy environments.As a matter of fact,these guys" practice has constituted an obstacle that hinders our social harmony,progress and civilization.

To conclude,Chinese society as a whole is supposed to obey the social morality, protect,respect and love our common homelandthe earth.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：become

批改：becomes 第三人称单数形式

原文：This is a simple but satirical drawing.On the boat,there are two youngsters,appreciating the natural beauty in front and throwing rubbish into the water.Although. this is a tourist attraction,the lake water become rather dirty,with watermelon peel, plastic bottles,fish bones floating on it.Finally,several Chinese characters can be noticed,which say that this is a trip of dropping waste.

批改：描述漫画内容，揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理，清晰直观。

原文：environments

批改：environment是不可数名词 不加s

原文：Such scene above can be associated with certain tourists’ inferior quality in reality. Admittedly,in contemporary China,some travelers" uncivilized behaviors have been reported by various media,such as discarding garbage everywhere,smoking and talking loudly in public places.This phenomenon is particularly worth concerning.It is these terrible behaviors that cause us not to enjoy the healthy,clean and tidy environments.As a matter of fact,these guys" practice has constituted an obstacle that hinders our social harmony,progress and civilization.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的危害性，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文：homelandthe

批改：注意单词空格

原文：To conclude,Chinese society as a whole is supposed to obey the social morality, protect,respect and love our common homelandthe earth.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

作文对漫画的理解到位，写作思路紧扣主题，有些短语句式的表达也不错，基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图，但在以下几方面还需注意：

细节：考试时可以多积累高级词汇，写作文就能用上，但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误，特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。

内容：这幅漫画中细节比较多，但最核心的内容比较明确，那就是旅游过程中游客的不恰当行为造成环境污染。该图显示水面上有一艘观光船，两个游客随手乱扔垃圾，水面上漂浮着各种各样的废弃物。很多考生拿到试卷后的第一反应就是写如何保护环境，再细心一点的考生就写成如何保护景区环境。可是，这幅图不仅要强调被破坏的环境，还要强调造成这种环境污染的缘由——游客甚至是人类的不恰当行为。这样表达文章意思才全面。

整体来看，作文理解了漫画内涵，段落框架明确，大体上与题目要求保持一致，但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处，主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当，同时也有主谓一致等细节问题，后续继续注重练习，加油！

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