考研英语一2010年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2010年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作技巧话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目

考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文

Nutritious and tasteful, in the hot-pot are those irresistible dishes, including Chinese Kung-fu, Shakespare, Einstein, Beijing Opera，etc., which are regarded as a splendid cultural feast for both China and the West as we can see the picture given above.

Abviously, The artist seems to tell us that the combination of Chinese culture and Western culture has advantages. A major advantage of such integrity is that Chinese have a chance to enjoy our culture in new forms. By absorbing diverse elements from different foreign cultural backgrounds, person"s inner world became more fruitful. Meanwhile, the fusion of traditional form Chinese culture with one or two Western cultural elements is more attractive than that including merely Chinese culture.

because the combination not only help the advancement of Chinese culture but also broaden Chinese person"s horizons, so it is critical to encourage the organistic integration of Chinese culture and other style culture

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：tritious and tasteful, in the hot-pot are those irresistible dishes, including Chinese Kung-fu, Shakespare, Einstein, Beijing Opera，etc., which are regarded as a splendid cultural feast for both China and the West as we can see the picture given above.

批改：首段描述画面，可以说 “As is shown on the illustration above, many tasteful cuisines such as Chinese kung fu and Shakespeare, which have been viewed as eminent cultural representatives around the globe, gather in the cultural hotpot.”

原文：Shakespare

批改：正确写法为 Shakespeare

原文：Abviously, The artist seems to tell us that the combination of Chinese culture and Western culture has advantages. A major advantage of such integrity is that Chinese have a chance to enjoy our culture in new forms. By absorbing diverse elements from different foreign cultural backgrounds, person"s inner world became more fruitful. Meanwhile, the fusion of traditional form Chinese culture with one or two Western cultural elements is more attractive than that including merely Chinese culture. because the combination not only help the advancement of Chinese culture but also broaden Chinese person"s horizons, so it is critical to encourage the organistic integration of Chinese culture and other style cu

批改：主干未能有效阐述图中现象产生的原因，表达较冗余，且未能合理分点分层分段论述，建议先从图中提取出有效信息形成自己的观点，再分析产生图中现象的原因和它的作用。图中展现的是中华文化与外来文化的碰撞与交融，体现了文化多元、荟萃一堂的场景，因此观点可以就围绕“文化多元化”或“文化交流与发展创新”给出；之后分析原因，“由于经济全球化和世界多极化，中华优秀传统文化要"引进来"和"走出去"，在继承的基础上与各文化交流融合，不断发展创新，因此产生图中各文化齐聚一堂的局面”；同时着重分析这一现象带来的影响和作用，可以从“国家-社会-个人”三方面来说；结尾可以简单提做法，如1.学习借鉴外来文化，取其精华 2.大力传播中华文化，提升中华文化的国际影响力，使得全球文化更为繁盛

原文：Abviously

批改：正确写法为 Obviously

原文：The

批改：前面是逗号，首字母不用大写

原文：integrity

批改：这里用 integration，文化交融可以说 cultural integration

原文：person"s

批改：改为 people"s

原文：fruitful

批改：fruitful是“有成果的，有成效的”，用在这里不恰当，可以改为 "People’s life tend to be more colorful."

原文：form

批改：删去

原文：that including merely Chinese culture

批改：改为 before

原文：help

批改：第三人称单数形式，用helps

原文：broaden

批改：第三人称单数形式，用broadens

原文：person"s

批改：改为 people"s

原文：organistic

批改：organic “有机的”

原文：style

批改：删去

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20

1）内容上：描述了图表内容，但未能给出有效观点；

2）语言上：表达较生硬，词汇驾驭和句子组织有待加强；

3）结构上：缺乏论述逻辑和角度，内容缺乏层次；

4）学习建议：

这篇文章是分析图中现象产生的原因和作用，侧重于回答“为什么会形成这种文化盛况”及“图中体现的全球文化交融景象有什么作用”，建议按“是什么（提观点）-为什么（析原因和作用）-怎么做（提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开论述，从“全球-国家-社会-个人”等角度出发着重分析影响和作用：

1.图中文化交融的局面有利于各国文化交流与互鉴（全球层面）

2.有利于中华文化走出去，增强我们的文化自信（国家层面）

3.有利于在全社会尊重和践行文化交融，形成良好的文化交流氛围（社会层面）

4.有利于满足人们的审美需要，丰富精神世界，感受不同的文化产品和服务（个人层面）

结尾可以提出一些做法促进全球文化发展和交融，如：

1.学习借鉴外来文化，取其精华；

2.大力传播中华文化，提升中华文化的国际影响力，使得全球文化更为繁盛。

语言上建议可以举出具体例子，像各国文化艺术节或中外文化交流年等各类盛事的举办，都体现了文化多元和文化交流的盛况；同时表达可以更地道，平时多阅读积累写作素材，有助于快速提取出自己的观点，有效传达信息，继续加油！

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