考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈,仅靠背诵远远不够,必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2024年考研英语一高分批改范例,涵盖考研英语一写作技巧高频常考话题,逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand picture, there is a boy, standing in the part fitness areas and saying"The newly renovated park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously in the right- hand chart, the number of parks experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with.in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue good health. This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park.rather than staying at home. In addition, as we all know,the outbreak of CDVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and fitness.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I"m confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:n the left-hand picture, there is a boy, standing in the part fitness areas and saying"The newly renovated park near my home is really nice!" Simultaneously in the right- hand chart, the number of parks experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2022.
批改:对图片和图表描述基本准确,但存在一些小错误。“part fitness areas”表述有误,推测想表达“part of the fitness areas”
原文:The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:此句起到承上启下作用,引出下文对现象原因的分析,表述清晰合理。
原文:To start with.in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue good health.
批改:存在标点错误,“To start with.”后面不应该用句号;
原文:This explains why an increasing number of people choose to exercise in the park.rather than staying at home.
批改:存在标点错误,“exercise in the park.”后面的句号多余
原文: In addition, as we all know,the outbreak of CDVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices.
批改:“CDVID - 19”拼写错误,应为“COVID - 19”;句子整体表达逻辑清晰,说明疫情对人们行为选择的影响。
原文:Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and fitness.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:存在标点错误,“fitness.”后面的句号多余,应改为逗号;句子逻辑连贯,表明基于前面原因,图表现象不足为奇。
原文:What about future trends? I"m confident that the number of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:此句提出对未来趋势的看法,表达清晰合理,逻辑连贯。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/20
题目要求:文章基本遵循了题目要求。首先对图片和图表进行了描述,虽存在一些小瑕疵,但大致呈现了图片中男孩对家附近新翻修公园的夸赞以及图表里2020 - 2022年公园数量显著增加264这一关键信息。其次,对现象背后的原因进行了分析,从社会发展和疫情影响两方面展开论述。最后,对未来公园数量的趋势做出了预测,整体结构较为完整,符合题目对内容完整性的要求。
语言表达:部分语句表达较为清晰,能够传达出核心意思。例如在阐述原因时,“To start with, in the wake of the rapid development of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue good health.” 较为清晰地说明了社会发展的背景下人们需求的变化,为人们选择去公园锻炼提供了合理的背景铺垫。
内容层面:在分析公园数量增加这一现象的原因时,采用了总分结构。先提出核心原因,然后分别从社会发展和疫情影响两个方面进行阐述,最后得出图表现象不足为奇的结论,层次较为分明。
修改建议:适当运用复合句、并列句等复杂句式,增加文章的层次感和丰富度。例如在阐述原因时,可以使用定语从句、状语从句等。
本文展示的2024年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板,均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。
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