考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一真题备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the river very dirty.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while the economic development rapidly, the quality of protect the environment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the chinese people. What is more, sustainable environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further building a beautiful social and sustainable development nation. Neglecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress. Not only hindering nation"s ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significant affecting its international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of protecting environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthing check and spreading relevant knowledge. But would these measures of comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to protect environment from our own behaviors.With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the river very dirty.

批改：① 冗余逗号 “tourists, sitting”→“tourists are sitting”（调整为并列谓语，更简洁）；② 表达优化 “very dirty”→“extremely polluted”（“polluted” 更贴合环保主题，“extremely” 比 “very” 更符合考研书面语要求）

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the river very

批改：修改后：As shown in the cartoon, two tourists are sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river, which makes the water extremely polluted.

原文：while the economic development rapidly

批改：① 语法错误 “while the economic development rapidly”→“while the economy develops rapidly”（从句需完整主谓结构，考研基础语法

原文：the quality of protect the environment is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the chinese people

批改：② 搭配错误 “quality of protect the environment”→“awareness of environmental protection”（“环保意识” 为考研核心搭配，“quality” 搭配不当）；④ 拼写错误 “chinese”→“Chinese”（专有名词大写，考研格式考点）；⑤ 词汇替换 “a crucial piece”→“a crucial element”（“element” 更贴合 “品质构成”，考研核心词）

原文： sustainable environment

批改：① 冠词补充 “sustainable environment”→“a sustainable environment”（可数名词单数需加冠词，考研语法）

原文：Neglecting environment

批改：① 冠词补充 “neglecting environment”→“neglecting the environment”（特指 “自然环境”，需加定冠词）

原文：growth

批改：⑥ 搭配优化 “growth”→“development”（“national development” 为考研环保类常用搭配）

原文： It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthing check and spreading relevant knowledge

批改：③ 拼写错误 “strengthing”→“strengthening”（考研高频拼写易错词）；④ 搭配优化 “check”→“inspections”（“环保检查” 用 “inspections” 更正式，考研核心词）；⑤ “spreading”→“popularizing”（“普及知识” 用 “popularizing” 更贴合语境）

原文：behaviors.

批改：③ 表达优化 “behaviors”→“actions”（“actions” 更侧重 “具体行动”，贴合环保实践）

原文：With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：表达不错

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/20

考研英语一真题写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。