考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two people, boating on the river, enjoying the beautiful scenery, ​but​ they throw their trash directly into the water, ​which​ led to garbage floating all over the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and social lives.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, there is a lack of substantial punishment for littering.It is imperative to improve relevant regulations to ensure that those who damage the environment are held accountable.​ What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals have failed to develop sound moral character. It is also imperative that we strengthen the development of positive habits to eradicate such behavior.

How can we put an end to the problem of littering? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related regulations and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：led to

批改：② 时态一致错误 “led”→“has led”（定语从句用现在完成时，体现 “扔垃圾” 的结果持续存在，考研基础时态考点）

原文：substantial punishment for littering.It is imperative to improve relevant regulations to ensure that those who damage the environment are held accountable

批改：词汇优化 “substantial”→“severe”（“severe punishment” 为考研 “惩罚类” 固定搭配，更贴合 “严惩乱扔垃圾” 的语境）；② 补充标点 “littering.It is”→“littering. It is”（句间换行且加空格，符合考研写作格式）。

原文： moral character.

批改：③ 搭配优化 “moral character”→“moral values”（“道德观念” 用 “moral values” 更贴合环保主题，考研核心搭配）

原文：upport

批改：① 词汇优化 “support”→“combination”（呼应前文 “法规 + 德育 + 自律”，逻辑更连贯，“combination” 为考研核心词）

原文：It is also imperative that we strengthen the development of positive habits to eradicate such behavior.

批改：表达很不错哦

原文：although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon

批改：表达很不错哦

原文：the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and social lives

批改：表达很不错哦

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

对2011年考研英语一大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。