考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一大作文备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father setting in front of a TV and smoking,urging his son to study.On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal，another father and his son are both studying at the desk with intense concentration.And several Chinese characters, finally, can be noticed, which say "Rather than just making demands, it"s better to set an example.".Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that setting an good example for children is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while parent’s negative examples are the shackle that hinders children‘s progress.

While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,setting an good example for children is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.In modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges,parent’s positive examples can make children to become outstanding individuals, and its significance has become increasingly evident.Parent’s negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

In brief, setting an good example for children is the catalyst for children’s development. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of parent’s negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：setting

批改：sitting

原文：an

批改：a

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father setting in front of a TV and smoking,urging his son to study.On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal，another father and his son are both studying at the desk with intense concentration.And several Chinese characters, finally, can be noticed, which say "Rather than just making demands, it"s better to set an example.".Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that setting an good example for children is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while parent’s negative examples are the shackle that hinders children‘s progress.

批改：描述漫画内容，揭示漫画背后所反映的社会现象和深刻哲理，清晰直观。

原文：an

批改：a

原文：to

批改：删除。使役动词make sb do sth 不需要介词to

原文：is

批改：are 注意主谓搭配

原文：hile certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,setting an good example for children is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.In modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges,parent’s positive examples can make children to become outstanding individuals, and its significance has become increasingly evident.Parent’s negative example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.

批改：以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的深层次原因，逻辑严谨，层次分明。

原文： an

批改：a

原文：In brief, setting an good example for children is the catalyst for children’s development. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice;additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of parent’s negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：总结全文，升华主题，展望未来

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

作文对漫画的理解到位，写作思路紧扣主题，有些短语句式的表达也不错，基本能够传达清楚作者的写作意图，但在以下几方面还需注意：

1.语法：个别句子从汉语角度看意思通顺，仔细分析其实句子成分不完整，不符合英语表达方式。

2.细节：作文中有几处比较明显的拼写错误。考试时可以多积累高级词汇，写作文就能用上，但尤其注意单词拼写不要出现明显错误，特别是与主题词相关的单词要重点留意。

3.内容：两幅图呈现了两位父亲不同的教育方式，形成了鲜明对比：一个是自己做不到，却徒然口头要求孩子努力学习；另一个则以身作则，默默同孩子一起看书。两幅图的寓意是：父母对孩子的教育应当言传身教、以身作则。也可从以下几个方面展开：父母的表率作用；行动的重要性；父母要真正的关心孩子的教育，而不应只停留在口头上等等。

整体来看，作文理解了漫画内涵，段落框架明确，大体上与题目要求保持一致，但是在表达上还存在一定问题。从点评中可以看出作文中有一些表述不当之处，基本是由汉语思维习惯而造成的表达错误，主要体现在词汇使用和搭配不当，句子成分缺失混乱，同时也有一些时态和前后一致等细节问题，后续继续注重练习，加油！

考研英语一大作文写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。