本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2010年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a hot pot, filled with many cultural elements,which include Lao She,Kung Fu,and Bejing opera and so on. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is cultural fusion that plays animportant and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost,In modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges,learning advanced cultures has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more,cultural fusion holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall nationalstrength, further propelling social stabillity and sustainable development.
In brief, cultural fusion is the catalyst for societal andpersonal development, from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practiceand carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can wemake our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:and
批改:此处删去 and
原文:animportant
批改:两个单词之间要记得加空格
批改:
原文:Bejing opera
批改:注意拼写,且专有名词实词的首字母都需要大写,改为 Beijing Opera
批改:语法正确
原文:In
批改:此处首字母不大写
批改:语法正确,内容表达也很好
原文: nationalstrength
批改:两个单词之间要记得加空格
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体
原文:andpersonal
批改:两个单词之间要记得加空格
原文: wemake
批改:两个单词之间要记得加空格
原文:and carry forward traditional culture
批改:图画的主题为 文化融合,此处只传承传统文化 不太切题,删去
批改:结尾段内容表达不错
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合
语言表达:存在几处内容和细节表达问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 内容上的细节表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心 2. 空格使用和首字母大小写要规范。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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