考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语一作文真题每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

The are two pictures showing two pairs of father and son different teaching methods. In the left picture, the father is urging his son to study hard while he is smoking and indulging screen place. On the contrast, the right side picture is opposed to the left one. We can see that the father and son are both concentrating on the study. The subtitle under the cartoon reads: “Rather than asking something merely ,become a good example”.

First and foremost, the intention of the author is revealing a fact that if you want your kids to gain some achievements , compering to just give a instruction, parents take action and set a example as kids personally, and then their children may tend to step the expected road.

What’s more, it is popularly that parents hope children could reach a bright future through tough working. However, it is not everyone who can endure long-time efforts. From my perspective , the ability of focusing one thing and strong motivation have become the key factors that distinguishes exceptional individual from ordinary people. Human nature is innated ,but learning methods are not. What parents can do for their children most effectively , is accompanying and setting a role model for children. As an old saying goes, rather than giving fishes , teach how fishing. Most of time, children are accustomed to following and imitating their parents not matter it is good or bad behaviors.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：are two pictures showing two pairs of father and son different teaching methods. In the left picture, the father is urging his son to study hard while he is smoking and indulging screen place. On the contrast, the right side picture is opposed to the left one. We can see that the father and son are both concentrating on the study. The subtitle under the cartoon reads: “Rather than asking something merely ,become a good example”

批改：​ 本段成功描述了两幅图的对比，并注意到了图中的文字提示，观察很仔细

原文：he are two pictures showing two pairs of father and son different teaching methods. In the left picture, the father is

批改：The are-> There are（拼写修正）。 two pairs of father and son different teaching methods-> two pairs of fathers and sons, demonstrating different teaching methods（优化表达，使逻辑更清晰）。 indulging screen place-> indulging in screen time或 watching TV（“沉迷屏幕”更地道的表达）。 On the contrast-> In contrast（固定搭配）。

原文：t and foremost, the intention of the author is revealing a fact that if you want your kids to gain some achievements , compering to just give a instruction, parents take action and set a example as kids personally, and then their children may tend to step the expected roa

批改：本段准确地抓住了漫画的寓意

原文：is revealing a fact that if you want your kids to gain some achievements , compering to just give a instruction, pare

批改：is revealing-> is to reveal或 reveals（动词形式优化）。 compering to-> compared to（拼写修正）。 give a instruction-> give an instruction（“instruction”以元音音素开头，用“an”）。 set a example-> set an example（“example”以元音音素开头，用“an”）

原文：at’s more, it is popularly that parents hope children could reach a bright future through tough working. However, it is not everyone who can endure long-time efforts. From my perspective , the ability of focusing one thing and strong motivation have become the key factors that distinguishes exceptional individual from ordinary people. Human nature is innated ,but learning methods are not. What parents can do for their children most effectively , is accompanying and setting a role model for children. As an old saying goes, rather than giving fishes , teach how fishing. Most of time, children are accustomed to following and imitating their parents not matter it is good or bad behaviors.

批改： 本段继续深入分析，指出了“专注力”和“动机”的重要性，并再次强调了陪伴和榜样作用

原文： long-time efforts. From my perspective , the ability of focusing one thing and strong motivation ha

批改：long-time efforts-> long-term efforts（固定搭配）。 ability of focusing one thing-> ability to focus on one thing（固定搭配 ability to do）。 distinguishes exceptional individual-> distinguish exceptional individuals（主语是复数factors，谓语动词用原形；individual用复数）。

原文：innated ,but learning methods are not. What parents can do for their children most effectively , is accompanying and setting a role model for children. As an old saying goes, rather than giving fishes , teach how fis

批改：innated-> innate（“天生的”是形容词innate）。 rather than giving fishes , teach how fishing-> Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime（谚语的正确表达）。 not matter it is-> no matter whether it is（“无论”是no matter whether）。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

同学，你的作文审题准确，结构完整，并且能够尝试进行深入的分析和引用，这非常值得鼓励！当前的提升关键在于语言表达的准确性和逻辑的清晰度。

夯实语法与搭配基础：请特别注意固定搭配（如set an example, ability to do）、冠词用法（a/an）和句子结构的完整性。

优化句子表达：在写复杂句时，可以先确保主干（主谓宾）清晰正确，再添加修饰成分。这样可以使观点表达更清晰。

确保引用准确：使用名言警句时，确保其准确性能增强说服力。

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