考研英语二2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语二作文真题每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2016年考研英语二批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

What purposes of college students travel? when asked the question, approximately 40% of the interviewees reply that their purpose of traveling is visiting scenaries. This is a common answer, Among all the randomly selected people, those relieve their stresses by traveling, accounting for 33%, those want to cultivate capabitity of independence and make more friends, are respectively only 6% and 9%, Last, The remaining 15% of people have achieved the goals through tour.

There are the manificent rivers and mountains in our motherland, such as JiuZhai Valley and The Yellow River, attracting tourists including students. Take advantage of spare time and dynamic age, No one spend vocation video games instead of traveling, meanwhile, It also a reward to students for hard-working studies. in return, relaxation can improve the efficiency of study.

Colleges are bridges connected the Societ es and schools, In other words, It"s our duty to learn how to deal with thing by ourselves, namely independence. For example, you lose your things or catch a cold in other places, even you have argument with others. All needs you to address, rather than avoiding with. Without doubt, with your friend or other can add your tour beauty , Not merely tour, In future workplace, no one can get away from communication with others,talking with your friends to negotiate the plan and asking stranger for way can do help you improve ability of social intercouse.

No matter what reason lead to tour, It"s commendable for students to pass holidays. The internal Connections within the human world, everyone of us shouldn’t be isolated by electronic products.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：What purposes of college students travel?

批改：句式结构错误（应为 “What are the main purposes of college students’ travel?”）；补充 “main” 明确核心，“students” 改为所有格 “students’”

原文：w

批改：首字母大写

原文：scenaries

批改：拼写错误（应为 “scenic spots” 或 “scenery”）

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：capabitity

批改：拼写错误（应为 “capability”）

原文：T

批改：首字母小写

原文：manificent

批改：拼写错误（应为 “magnificent”）

原文：the

批改：删去

原文：JiuZhai Valley

批改：规范拼写（应为 “Jiuzhaigou Valley”）

原文：T

批改：小写

原文：Take advantage of spare time and dynamic age

批改：逻辑主语缺失（改为 “As young people with abundant spare time and energy”）

原文：No one spend

批改：主谓不一致（“No one” 后接单数 “spends”），首字母小写

原文：vocation

批改：拼写错误（应为 “vacations”）

原文：video games

批改：补充 “playing”（“spend time playing”）

原文：i

批改：首字母大写

原文：meanwhile, It also a reward to students for hard-working studies. in return, relaxation can improve the efficiency of study.

批改：断句成单另的一句

原文：It also a reward

批改：语法错误（应为 “It is also a reward”）

原文：connected

批改： 语法错误（应为 “serving as bridges connecting”）

原文：Societ es

批改：拼写错误（应为 “society”，单数）

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：thing

批改：改为复数 “things”

原文： you lose your things or catch a cold in other places, even you have argument with others.

批改：时态错误（改为 “if you lose your belongings, catch a cold in a foreign place, or even have a disagreement with others”）

原文：All needs

批改：主谓不一致（“All” 后接复数 “need”）

原文：avoiding with

批改： 表达错误（应为 “avoiding them”）

原文：with your friend

批改：应为 “Traveling with friends or meeting new people”

原文：other

批改：改为 “others”

原文：add your tour beauty

批改：表达不规范（应为 “add charm to your trip”）

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：Not merely tour

批改：表达错误（应为 “Beyond travel”）

原文： In future workplace

批改：改为 “In the future workplace”

原文：stranger

批改： 改为复数 “strangers”

原文：do

批改：删去

原文：social intercouse

批改：拼写错误（应为 “social interaction”）

原文：lead

批改：主谓不一致（应为 “leads to”）

原文：C

批改：首字母小写

原文：everyone of us

批改：表达错误（应为 “each of us”）

原文：What purposes of college students travel? when asked the question, approximately 40% of the interviewees reply that their purpose of traveling is visiting scenaries. This is a common answer, Among all the randomly selected people, those relieve their stresses by traveling, accounting for 33%, those want to cultivate capabitity of independence and make more friends, are respectively only 6% and 9%, Last, The remaining 15% of people have achieved the goals through tour.

批改：描述图表内容，符合题目要求

原文：e are the manificent rivers and mountains in our motherland, such as JiuZhai Valley and The Yellow River, attracting tourists including students. Take advantage of spare time and dynamic age, No one spend vocation video games instead of traveling, meanwhile, It also a reward to students for hard-working studies. in return, relaxation can improve the efficiency of study. Colleges are bridges connected the Societ es and schools, In other words, It"s our duty to learn how to deal with thing by ourselves, namely independence. For example, you lose your things or catch a cold in other places, even you have argument with others. All needs you to address, rather than avoiding with. Without doubt, with your friend or other can add your tour beauty , Not merely tour, In future workplace, no one can get away from communication with others,talking with your friends to negotiate the plan and asking stranger for way can do help you improve ability of social intercouse.

批改：提出了自己的观点，但是逻辑比较混乱，不知道提了几个观点

原文：I

批改：首字母小写

原文：No matter what reason lead to tour, It"s commendable for students to pass holidays. The internal Connections within the human world, everyone of us shouldn’t be isolated by electronic products.

批改：结尾升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：7

原文围绕 “大学生旅行目的” 展开，核心意图明确，涵盖了观光、减压、培养独立性、交友等关键维度，并有一定的原因分析和意义升华，具备基本写作框架。但存在较多影响表达质量的问题：

语法与拼写错误频发，如 “scenaries”“capabitity”“manificent” 等拼写错误，以及句式结构混乱、主谓不一致、时态错误等语法问题，严重影响阅读流畅度；表达冗余且模糊，如 “have achieved the goals through tour” 等表述不清晰，部分句子逻辑衔接不畅，缺乏自然过渡；标点符号使用混乱，逗号、句号滥用，影响句子分隔与逻辑层次。希望继续努力，加油！

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