考研英语一2011年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2011年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture,there are two people,sitting on a boat,enjoying the view,and delivering rubbish into the water,with countless litter behind the boat.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment protection is an issue that requires great attention both in personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of protect environment is one that should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,neglecting the issue of environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also significantly affecting international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of throwing rubbish anywhere?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including strengthening moral education and helping students cultivate more rational values in school.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to issue related regulations,enhance supervision and strength the guilding role of the media in public opinion.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：delivering

批改：throwing扔

原文：As shown in the picture,there are two people,sitting on a boat,enjoying the view,and delivering rubbish into the water,with countless litter behind the boat.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment protection is an issue that requires great attention both in personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：protect

批改：of是介词，改成protecting

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of protect environment is one that should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.On the other hand,neglecting the issue of environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also significantly affecting international image.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：strength

批改：改成动词strengthen

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of throwing rubbish anywhere?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including strengthening moral education and helping students cultivate more rational values in school.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to issue related regulations,enhance supervision and strength the guilding role of the media in public opinion.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，要注意之前选取词汇以及区分词性；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2011年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一真题冲刺保驾护航。