考研英语二2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

考研英语作文批改命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2016年考研英语二批改范例，透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质，由启航教育老师逐段精批，可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The chart illustrates a phenomenon has happened in the goal of travelling, which is assoclated with college students on campus. The scale of appreciating the scenery accounts for 37%. The scale of relieving the pressure accounts for 33%.Making friends and developing the ability that students can finish their work independently can be students goals of traveling

Some factors that lead to the phenomenon can be summarized as follows. The development of the job market cannot catch up with the increasing number of the college students, which has obliged college graduates to travel with their friends for relieving the pressure. China has become extremely active in the development of the scenery, which has led to the increased demand of journey. The journey can improve mutual understanding and friendship. The demand of the job market has led to that college graduates should choose the labor practical activity for improving their ability of independence.

It is my view that we can absorb the virtues of the scenery and improve our weaknesses. We should be sensible to deal with the pressure of the job market. Only in this way so can we promote our life wonderful.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：lustrates a phenomenon h

批改：illustrates a phenomenon has happened -> illustrates a phenomenon regarding 或 reveals the distribution of (原句存在语法错误，a phenomenon后缺少关系代词that) assoclated -> associated (拼写错误)

原文：s can finish their work independently can be st

批改：最后一句结构冗长、不清晰。the ability that students can finish... 表达不自然，can be students goals 缺少所有格。

原文：he chart illustrates a phenomenon has happened in the goal of travelling, which is assoclated with college students on campus. The scale of appreciating the scenery accounts for 37%. The scale of relieving the pressure accounts for 33%.Making friends and developing the ability that students can finish their work independently can be students goals of traveling

批改：本段引入了所有必要数据，但表达方式可以更精炼

原文： has led to the increa

批改：has led to that college graduates should choose -> has led to a situation where college graduates choose 或 has prompted college graduates to choose (lead to后接名词性成分，不能直接接句子)

原文： the labor practic

批改：the labor practical activity -> practical activities (表达不清，指代不明)

原文：e factors that lead to the phenomenon can be summarized as follows. The development of the job market cannot catch up with the increasing number of the college students, which has obliged college graduates to travel with their friends for relieving the pressure. China has become extremely active in the development of the scenery, which has led to the increased demand of journey. The journey can improve mutual understanding and friendship. The demand of the job market has led to that college graduates should choose the labor practical activity for improving their ability of independence.

批改：本段试图分析原因，但选取的论点与图表现象的逻辑关联不够直接和紧密

原文：can we promote our life wonder

批改：so can we promote our life wonderful -> can we make our lives more wonderful 或 can we enhance the quality of our lives (语法错误，promote不能接宾语补足语)

原文： my view that we can absorb the virtues of the scenery and improve our weaknesses. We should be sensible to deal with the pressure of the job market. Only in this way so can we promote our life wonderful.

批改：结尾段需要更有效地总结全文或提出具体、相关的见解

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了多数内容要点。但漏掉或未能有效阐述一些内容要点（如图表深层含义的阐释），并写了一些无关内容（如就业市场与旅游的强制关联），且有一些语法及词汇错误。

总评：

同学，你好！这篇作文表明你已经掌握了图表作文的基本结构，并能准确地提取数据

1. 语言方面：

你的文章在语法和词汇上存在一些错误，但更核心的问题在于论述的“相关性”和“逻辑性”。文中部分论点（如就业市场、风景开发）与图表主题的关联不够直接，甚至有些牵强，这比单纯的语法错误更影响得分。

2. 结构方面：

你具备了“描述-分析-总结”的结构意识。但在内容上，需要让论证更切题、更深入。图表反映的核心是学生内在的、个人的动机（压力、审美、社交），而非宏大的外部经济或政策因素。你的分析需要更聚焦于前者。

总的修改建议：

紧扣主题，聚焦内在动机：分析原因时，请始终围绕“学生的个人选择”这一核心。例如，分析“缓解压力”时，直接谈“学业繁重”；分析“欣赏风景”时，直接谈“对自然和美的心灵需求”。

优化语言表达：避免使用空洞的口号式语句（如“吸收风景的美德”）。让每一句评论都具体、可感，并与图表数据或前述分析直接相关。

理清逻辑链条：在提出任何一个论点前，反复确认它是否能直接、合理地解释图表中的现象。

关于2016年考研英语二大作文，如果你还有其他疑问，或是想进一步研读考研英语作文批改高分范文，欢迎在线咨询启航教育的答疑老师。同时报名2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，即可加入考研英语研友社群，开启冲刺伴学。