考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语一写作冲刺每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2011年考研英语一批改范例，从生活实际出发，紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图（表）描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, Two tourists are appreciating scenary by boat, and they are dropping litter are optionally. It is appalling that rubbish filled with water. The caption below reads: “superfluous during the journey.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, tourists are ignorant about environmental issue. believes that throwing litters is of no consequence. I ndividuals lack the awareness of protecting the envirement. On the other hand, scenic area has not taken effective protective measures. For example, creating promotional slogans. and thelack of clear rules and regulations. might contribute to this phenomenon.

How can we put an end to the problem of enviremental pollution? Goverment can issue related laws and scenic area should enhance supervision. Beyond that, individual ahould instill the idea of enviremental protection. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle this missue

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Two

批改：逗号后单词首字母小写

原文：are

批改：多余删去

批改：缺少谓语，加is

原文：superfluous

批改：是形容词，改成名词remains

原文：during

批改：是旅行之后，改成after

原文：As shown in the picture, Two tourists are appreciating scenary by boat, and they are dropping litter are optionally. It is appalling that rubbish filled with water. The caption below reads: “superfluous during the journey.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention.

批改：能够完整描述出图画中的内容，语言连贯，注意避免小的语言错误。

批改：改成and

原文：believes

批改：believe

原文：litters

批改：litter作为垃圾是不可数

原文：envirement

批改：environment

原文：For example,

批改：for example后加句子，such as后加名词或短语，改成such as

批改：逗号

批改：句号去掉

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, tourists are ignorant about environmental issue. believes that throwing litters is of no consequence. I ndividuals lack the awareness of protecting the envirement. On the other hand, scenic area has not taken effective protective measures. For example, creating promotional slogans. and thelack of clear rules and regulations. might contribute to this phenomenon.

批改：论述的内容较为全面，运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。注意避免小的语言错误。

原文：enviremental

批改：environmental

原文：Goverment

批改：Government

原文：ahould

批改：should

原文：that

批改：前面提了两方面，因此应该是复数those

原文：enviremental

批改：

原文：missue

批改：issue

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of enviremental pollution? Goverment can issue related laws and scenic area should enhance supervision. Beyond that, individual ahould instill the idea of enviremental protection. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle this missue

批改：该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施，注意避免拼写错误。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误，注意区分词性及其用法；句式和语法方面，注意主谓一致问题，句子不要缺少成分也不要有多余成分。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的比较认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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