考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一作文真题常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists sitting on the boat, throwing garbage into the water. As a result, the river is polluted. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the preservation of our natural environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

The phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, the preservation of the natural environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. What is more, environmental pollution is like a chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain health and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

How can we put an end to the polluted environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to improve our cultivation. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists sitting on the boat, throwing garbage into the water.

批改：此句清晰简洁地描述了漫画中的主要场景，能快速了解画面内容，符合题目中“describe the drawing briefly”的要求。

原文：As a result, the river is polluted.

批改：自然地承接上句，说明了游客扔垃圾这一行为导致的结果，逻辑清晰。

原文：Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the preservation of our natural environment is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：准确概括了漫画的意图，点明了保护自然环境这一核心主题，且表达清晰。

原文：The phenomenon is thought - provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.

批改：起到承上启下的作用，引出下文对现象原因的分析，使文章结构连贯。

原文：First and foremost, the preservation of the natural environment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public health, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：从国家层面阐述了保护自然环境的重要性，逻辑清晰，用词较为准确。

原文：What is more, environmental pollution is like a chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain health and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

批改：运用比喻的修辞手法，形象地说明了环境污染对国家发展的阻碍，增强了文章的表现力。

原文：How can we put an end to the polluted environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision.

批改：提出问题并给出部分解决措施，逻辑合理，符合题目中“give your comments”的要求。

原文：ut would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to improve our cultivation.

批改：通过反问引出进一步思考，强调了提高自身素养的重要性，使文章观点更全面。

原文：With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：总结了前文提到的措施的作用，使文章结构完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15/20

题目要求：严格遵循题目要求，完成了三个关键任务。开篇对漫画进行了简要描述，清晰呈现了画面中两名游客在船上向水中扔垃圾，导致河水污染的场景。接着准确解释了漫画的意图，即强调保护自然环境在个人生活和社会层面都需高度重视。最后针对如何解决环境污染问题给出了评论，包括制定相关法律、加强监管以及提升自身素养等措施。

语言表达：文章使用了“First and foremost”“What is more”“But”等连接词和过渡语，使各段落和观点之间的逻辑关系清晰，层次分明。例如，用“First and foremost”引出保护自然环境对国家的重要性，用“What is more”进一步阐述环境污染对国家发展的阻碍，最后用“But”转折，提出解决环境污染问题还需提升自身素养

内容层面：全文紧紧围绕保护自然环境这一主题展开，从漫画描述到意图解释，再到解决措施的提出，都紧密相关，没有偏离主题。

修改建议：积累更多高级词汇和同义词，替换重复和普通的词汇。例如，将“important”替换为“crucial”“vital”等；将“hinder”替换为“impede”“obstruct”等。

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