本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2016年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown
of traveling purpose of college students. Appreciating scenes
takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing pressure at
33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing
ability of independence, and other are also considered, accounting
for 9%, 6%, and 15%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon
can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying
goes, "on life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays,
university students are compelled to confront immense
academic pressure, and as a result, travel has emerged as
their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition,
in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,
people are no longer content with mere material
satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains
why an increasing number of people choose appreciating
scenes as their traveling purpose. Considering these factors, the
depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the
above statistical figure accurately and truthfully reflects the
choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the
changes in era, and will likely remain relatively stable in
the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of traveling purpose of college students. Appreciating scenes takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing pressure at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing ability of independence, and other are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6%, and 15%, respectively.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "on life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, travel has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose appreciating scenes as their traveling purpose. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figure accurately and truthfully reflects the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
首段总体概括图表主题,详细列出关键数据变化;第二段分析原因,可从社会就业压力增大、学生追求自我等方面进行论述;第三段评论与展望,预测未来趋势可能持续,并强调其对个人和社会发展的积极意义。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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