思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2016年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the purpose of college students’ travel at a certain university. Enjoying landscapes takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing pressure at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, developing independent ability, and other reasons are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6%, and 15%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of college students enjoy landscapes among travel. In addition, as the saying goes,“On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, releasing pressure by travel has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
批改:精准定位图表类型和核心内容,数据呈现完整且逻辑清晰,语言简洁准确,无明显基础错误,整体表现优秀。也可以尝试使用一些非模版句型,让自己的作文更有丰富度。
原文:,
批改: 标点错误,两个完整句子用逗号连接,需改为分号或添加连词,如 “so/and’,
原文:among
批改:搭配不当,among travel→during travel,“在旅行期间欣赏风景” 用 during,表“在…… 过程中”,among表“在…… 之中”,语义不符。
批改:用“To start with”“In addition”搭建清晰的逻辑框架,分别从“精神享受需求”和“学业压力释放”两个角度,对应图表中占比最高的两大旅行目的,原因与数据高度匹配,分析有针对性;引用俗语增强内容丰富度,对于模版句式的使用也相对灵活。
批改:紧扣要求提出“未来趋势”,观点明确,并结合“时代变化缩影”提升结论深度,段落功能完整,收尾自然
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11/15分
整体语言准确性较高,仅存在少量细节错误,无低级拼写或语法错误;句式有变化(如宾语从句、非谓语结构 “serving as...”),词汇运用较丰富(如 “percentage breakdown”“in the wake of”“compelled to”),符合考研书面语对“准确性”和“多样性”的要求。段落间过渡自然,段落内部用“To start with”“In addition”划分层次,整体连贯性较强。
优化建议: 一是注意标点规范(避免逗号连接两个完整句子),二是积累常用介词搭配(如 “during travel”),三是可以尝试跳脱模版,自己多积累一些其他的句子,增加作文的丰富度。整体而言,这是一篇质量较高的作文,稍加打磨即可冲击更高分数。加油!
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2016年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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