考研英语二2016年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语二大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart intuitively reveals the survey results on the travel purposes of students at a certain university. We can observe that the students who aim to enjoy the scenery account for the highest proportion of 33%, followed by relieving stress. Those who aim to develop independence and make friends account for a smaller proportion. At the same time, there are 15% of students with other travel purposes.

The chart reveals the diverse tourism needs of students. I think the reasons why enjoying the scenery and relieving stress account for a high proportion are as follows: on the one hand, people like to appreciate beautiful views to broaden their horizons; on the other hand, contemporary university students are under excessive pressure and need to relax through traveling, this is also the reason why the proportion of tourism aimed at developing skills is relatively low. And nowadays, young people long for stay alone , so the proportion of students who come for the purpose of making friends is also low.

In conclusion, this graph not only reflects the growth of tourism trends, but also indicates the diversification of student tourism demands. Consequently , we should promote the diversified development of the tourism industry to meet the needs of more people.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The pie chart intuitively reveals the survey results on the travel purposes of students at a certain university. We can observe that the students who aim to enjoy the scenery account for the highest proportion of 33%, followed by relieving stress. Those who aim to develop independence and make friends account for a smaller proportion. At the same time, there are 15% of students with other travel purposes.

批改：能够准确地描绘出图表的信息，句子连贯完整。

原文：this

批改：前加and连接两个并列分句

原文：tourism

批改：students

原文：stay

批改：for是介词，后加staying

原文：The chart reveals the diverse tourism needs of students. I think the reasons why enjoying the scenery and relieving stress account for a high proportion are as follows: on the one hand, people like to appreciate beautiful views to broaden their horizons; on the other hand, contemporary university students are under excessive pressure and need to relax through traveling, this is also the reason why the proportion of tourism aimed at developing skills is relatively low. And nowadays, young people long for stay alone , so the proportion of students who come for the purpose of making friends is also low.

批改：能够运用逻辑关系词分析图表中现象的背后原因，全面细致。

原文：n conclusion, this graph not only reflects the growth of tourism trends, but also indicates the diversification of student tourism demands. Consequently , we should promote the diversified development of the tourism industry to meet the needs of more people.

批改：能够对图表中的现象进行分析总结并提出自己的建议。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/15

1）内容符合题目的要求，能够全面的描绘出图表中的内容。

2）词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，能够运用一些复杂句式，句型结构灵活多变；语法方面，注意两个分句之间用连词连接以及介词后加动词ing形式。

3）逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，符合英语句子结构的要求。

4）修改建议：可以看出作文完成的很认真，内容充分，语言逻辑清晰，值得表扬。一定要细心一些，注意避免以上小的细节问题。再接再厉。

本文精解的2016年考研英语二范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。