作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2016年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二大作文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly dispalys the percentage breakdown of the students’ vatious aims of traveling at a certain university.Enjoying scenery takes the lead at 37%,followed by relieving stress at 33%.additionally,factors such as making friends,fostering ability of independence and other purposes are also considered,accouting for 9%,6%,and 15%,respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,university students are not longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.This explains why an increasing number of students travel in order to enjoy excellent secenry.In addition,as the saying goes,“On life’s stage,pressure is always present.”Nowadays,university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure,and as a result,traveling has emerged as their significant choice for reducing stress.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsuperising.
What about future trends?I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the university students,serving as microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The pie chart clearly dispalys the percentage breakdown of the students’ vatious aims of traveling at a certain university.
批改:(1)拼写错误 dispalys → displays;(2)vatious → various;(3)“aims of traveling”不自然,改为“purposes for traveling”更地道
原文:Enjoying scenery takes the lead at 37%,followed by relieving stress at 33%.
批改:结构清晰,表达准确。
原文:additionally,factors such as making friends,fostering ability of independence and other purposes are also considered,accouting for 9%,6%,and 15%,respectively.
批改:(1) 句首应大写;(2) 标点错误(中英文混用);(3) 拼写错误 accouting → accounting;(4) “fostering ability of independence”应为“fostering the ability of independence”或“developing independence”。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:开篇自然
原文:This explains why an increasing number of students travel in order to enjoy excellent secenry.
批改:(1)拼写错误 secenry → scenery;(2)“excellent scenery”语气生硬,换为“beautiful scenery”更自然。
原文:In addition,as the saying goes,“On life’s stage,pressure is always present.”
批改:引用自然,语言流畅
原文:Nowadays,university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure,and as a result,traveling has emerged as their significant choice for reducing stress.
批改:逻辑顺畅,用词得体
原文:unsuperising
批改:拼写错误 unsuperising → unsurprising
原文:What about future trends?I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of the university students,serving as microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades
批改:结尾段表达自然
原文:not longer
批改:“not longer”应为“no longer”
原文:To start with,in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,
批改:表达清晰连贯
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15
1)题目要求:
内容切题,格式正确,完成了图表解读与评论两大要点,逻辑较清晰,符合写作要求,但拼写与标点错误较多,影响整体印象。
2)语言表达:
存在多处拼写与搭配错误(如 dispalys, vatious, accouting, unsuperising),个别中式表达(如 aims of traveling, changes in the era)。整体可理解,但不够地道流畅。
3)内容层面:
能完整解释数据并分析原因,结尾有趋势预测,思路清晰、有逻辑结构。但语言表达略显公式化,缺乏细节和自然衔接。
4)修改建议:
建议加强拼写检查和格式规范意识(如空格、大小写、标点统一);避免中式搭配,积累常用高分表达(如 enjoy the scenery, reflect social changes);适当简化句式,使语言更自然流畅。
总体来讲,这篇作文思路清晰,能看出你对图表内容的理解。评论部分也表达了态度,但可以再多一些深度或例子来支撑观点。语言表达方面整体还不错,偶尔有些用词不太自然。总体来说,这是一篇完成度较高的作文,继续保持。
读完本文,你对2016年考研英语二大作文的考研英语二大作文写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握?启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包,包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测,在线咨询即可免费领取。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考