考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a father sitting and watching TV, while his son is studying. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying hard with his son. Evidently, the pictures intend to convey to readers that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive example can ignite children’s creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative example of parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future scciety.

In brief, setting positive examples is the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：内容表达不错，但是建议将第一幅图画中的文字也表达出来会更好

原文： positive example

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 a positive example

原文：negative example

批改：改为 a negative example

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

原文：positive example

批改：改为 a positive example

批改：语法正确

原文：negative example

批改：改为 a negative example

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：of parents

批改：改为 set by parents 过去分词作后置定语更合适

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

对2016年考研英语一大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。