本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2024年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
The left drawing is of many people running in the public park and a boy saying,"The park is new and is beneficial for us." The right image is promoting an increasing trend about the number of public parks in recent years.
Among many theme, these two pictures highlight that more and more people are concerned about their bodies and daily health. In the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards healthy life have changed from neglect to emphasis. Not only have the governments built many public parks, but also they call for students to exercise in the field of education. An excellent person should be noble, intelligent, and srong.
To encourage people to exercise, society and governments must provide better environment for people. Ultimately, sports not only enable individuals to build up their bodies but also promote social progress
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:is promoting
批改:语义偏差(“推广趋势” 不恰当),改为 “illustrates”(“展示、阐明”)
原文:many theme
批改:“theme” 为可数名词,复数形式 “themes”
原文:Not only have the governments built many public parks, but also they call for students to exercise in the field of education.
批改:倒装结构中,前后时态需一致,“call for” 改为 “have also promoted”(现在完成时,与前文 “have built” 保持一致)
原文:srong
批改: “strong”
原文:The left drawing is of many people running in the public park and a boy saying,"The park is new and is beneficial for us." The right image is promoting an increasing trend about the number of public parks in recent years.
批改:描述图片内容,符合题目要求
原文:Among many theme, these two pictures highlight that more and more people are concerned about their bodies and daily health. In the wake of high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitudes towards healthy life have changed from neglect to emphasis. Not only have the governments built many public parks, but also they call for students to exercise in the field of education. An excellent person should be noble, intelligent, and srong.
批改:提出了自己的观点,建议使用一些表示逻辑关系的连接词,让条理更加清晰,明确具体提了几点建议
原文:To encourage people to exercise, society and governments must provide better environment for people. Ultimately, sports not only enable individuals to build up their bodies but also promote social progress
批改:总结全文,升华主题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
原文框架完整,准确捕捉了 “公园锻炼人数增多” 与 “公共公园数量增长” 的核心关联,搭建了议论文结构,符合考研英语漫画作文的基本要求。但是存在一些语法 、拼写错误(如 “theme”“srong”),写完再整体检查一遍,希望继续努力,加油!
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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