作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一作文模板常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are two people,enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage onto the lake surface,with kook unconcerned. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, environmental protection has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals form ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, neglecting environmental protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of environment protection?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issuing related laws and strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are two people,enjoying the scenery and throwing garbage onto the lake surface,with kook unconcerned. Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, environmental protection has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals form ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, neglecting environmental protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:protection
批改:应该是结束环境污染问题,所以改成pollution
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environment protection?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issuing related laws and strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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