想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2013年考研英语一批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are a group of college graduates standing at the crossroads of life making choices.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choose the right path in life that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,the quality of being unwilling to be ordinary brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers"desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.On the other hand,in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, a suitable choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
In brief, a suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we(develop individual potential/fulfll our aspirations/create a happier life/build a more harmonious society/make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:choose
批改:改成choosing动名词做主语
原文:play
批改:动名词做主语谓单plays
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are a group of college graduates standing at the crossroads of life making choices.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is choose the right path in life that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:the quality of being unwilling to be ordinary
批改:要加以说明不甘平凡这种品质与恰当的选择之间的关系
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,the quality of being unwilling to be ordinary brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers. Its core driving force stems from teenagers"desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.On the other hand,in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, a suitable choice has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文: In brief, a suitable choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we(develop individual potential/fulfll our aspirations/create a happier life/build a more harmonious society/make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
批改:起到了呼吁和号召的作用,紧扣主题,语言连贯完整。把这一段的/改成“,”
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,注意强调句的正确用法,动名词做主语并且后面的谓语谓单。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好,还要注意论述内容要与主体相关。继续加油。
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