当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2010年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一作文真题话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there is a boiling hot pot,filled with diverse elements about culture,including Lao she,Shakespeare,kong Fu and so on.Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is cultural fusion that plays an important and positive role in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,In modern society full of changes,chances ,and challenges, whether cultural fusion can be better achieved has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people,and its significance cance has become increasingly evident. On the other hand ,neglecting cultural fusion is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significant affecting its international image.
In brief, cultural fusion is the catalyst for personal and societal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this practice.Only by doing so can we create a better society and make our national culture shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:she
批改:姓和名的首字母都要大写
原文:kong
批改:标准写法是 kung
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的
批改:语法正确
原文:In
批改:此处首字母不大写
原文:cance
批改:删去
原文:significant
批改:副词修饰动词,此处改为 significantly
批改:内容表达很好,也很具体
批改:语法正确
批改:结尾段内容表达很好
原文:elements about culture
批改:此处的地道表达为 cultural elements
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合
语言表达:存在几处语法和细节表达问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心 2. 首字母大小写要规范。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,总的来说写的不错,加油!
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