考研英语一2011年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2011年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon,there are two travelers,sitting on the boat,enjoying the scenery and throwing the litter into river,which pollutes the river.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment polluntion is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulationsmight contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individualshave disregarded the virtue of protecting environment.What’s more,pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our country"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image and competitiveness.

How can we put an end to the problem of polluntion? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including making new laws and strengthening supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to improve the moral level of people. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon,there are two travelers,sitting on the boat,enjoying the scenery and throwing the litter into river,which pollutes the river.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment polluntion is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够清晰全面的描绘出图画中展示的内容并点明主题，句子结构连贯，无语言错误。

原文：Tragically

批改：逗号后面单词首字母小写即可

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulationsmight contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individualshave disregarded the virtue of protecting environment.What’s more,pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our country"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image and competitiveness.

批改：运用逻辑关系词使得句与句衔接连贯，既分析了害处又能够分析原因，分析较为全面。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of polluntion? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including making new laws and strengthening supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to improve the moral level of people. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

论述的内容全面，字数符合作文的要求，值得表扬。

内容上：符合题目要求，能够准确全面的描绘出图画中的内容。

词汇上：基础词汇掌握的较好，无拼写错误

句式上：能够适当运用一些高级句式，望继续保持；

语法上：总体来看语法基础没有问题。

逻辑上：结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，符合英语句子结构的要求。

修改建议：可以看出作文的内容还是比较全面的，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都比较的清晰，值得表扬。但是需要注意逗号后面的单词首字母小写即可。继续加油，再接再厉。

本文展示的2011年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。