进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作锦囊写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are two people,sitting on the boat,communicating with each other and littering the trash into the lake. Evidently the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also substantially affecting its international image and competitiveness.On the other hand,tragically,although lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoyment and happiness,have disregarded the behavior of protecting the environment.
How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,issuing relevant laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality,we also need to foster the quality of protecting the environment deliberately.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are two people,sitting on the boat,communicating with each other and littering the trash into the lake. Evidently the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:开头信息概括准确,引出下文
原文:behavior of protecting the environment
批改:成分冗余,改为have disregarded environmental protection
原文: This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress,not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth,but also substantially affecting its international image and competitiveness.On the other hand,tragically,although lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoyment and happiness,have disregarded the behavior of protecting the environment.
批改:词汇和句型丰富
原文:quality
批改:quality不太恰当,foster the awareness/habit of environmental protection更适合
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,issuing relevant laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality,we also need to foster the quality of protecting the environment deliberately.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:good
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
1.作文内容包含全面,主题明确,层次分明;
2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇,定语从句,非谓语动词和强调句型很棒;
3.采用恰当的衔接手法,内容较为连贯;
4.要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型,形成自己的语料库和写作思路,加油!
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作锦囊高分批改。
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