正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2011年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two people sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river which make the water very dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intend to convey the readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the importance of environmental protection. What is more, environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related lows and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
批改:加逗号,后面的which引导非限定从,指代前面扔垃圾这件事,
原文:make
批改:前面扔垃圾这件事是单数,因此make改成makes
原文:intend
批改:单三intends
批改:加to
原文: shown in the cartoon, there are two people sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish into the river which make the water very dirty. Evidently, the cartoonist intend to convey the readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:缺少动词,可以加上:hinders
原文:his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the importance of environmental protection. What is more, environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:lows
批改:laws
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related lows and strengthening moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式和语法方面,注意主谓一致问题以及句子成分要完整。逻辑结构清晰,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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