考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语一大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2011年考研英语一批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语一考生直接借鉴。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing the rubbish into the river, which pollutes the environment. Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that pofusion that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost,tragically,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the

fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of integrity. What’s more, neglecting innovation is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of environment protection deliberately.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：pofusion that

批改：多余，删去

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing the rubbish into the river, which pollutes the environment. Evidently , the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that pofusion that environment pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：对图画内容描述的很全面，且能够清晰点明主题。

原文：integrity

批改：诚实正直和主题环境污染无关，需更换主题词

原文：innovation

批改：创新也和主题无关，需更换

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost,tragically,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of integrity. What’s more, neglecting innovation is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.

批改：在套用模板句时需注意选择的主题词要与作文主题相关。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environment pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the virtue of environment protection deliberately.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20

论述的内容全面，字数符合作文的要求，值得表扬。

内容上：第一段对图画内容描述的很全面，中间段落选取的主题词不符合题目要求，跑题。

词汇上：基础词汇掌握的不错，无拼写错误；

句式上：能够适当运用一些高级句式，望继续保持；

语法上：总体来看语法基础没有问题，值得表扬。

逻辑上：结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，符合英语句子结构的要求。

修改建议：可以看出作文的内容还是比较全面的，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都比较的清晰，值得表扬。但是要注意在使用模板时一定要灵活一些，选择的主题词要紧紧贴合作文主题要求。继续加油，再接再厉。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。