面对2016年考研英语二大作文,许多同学最关心的是有没有可复制的写作模板。本文带来的高分范文严格遵循启航考研英语高分框架,从开头引入、主体论证到结尾呼应,全文清晰流畅,是考研英语考生的必备学习资料。
一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目
考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文
请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效 Section I Writing Part B
52. The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various purposes of traveling among students at a certain University. Enjoying scenery takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating independence and something else are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why so many students choose enjoying scenery and releasing stress as their traveling purpose. In addition, As the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present. "Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: Universit
批改:University -> university (作为普通名词,首字母不应大写)
原文:e pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of various purposes of traveling among students at a certain University. Enjoying scenery takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing stress at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, cultivating independence and something else are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15% respectively.
批改:本段完美地完成了图表描述的任务。开篇点明主题,数据引用准确
原文:s. To start wit
批改:To start with, In -> To start with, in (逗号后首字母不应大写)
原文:nts are no longer
批改:students are no longer..., they also...:这是一个“逗号粘连”错误。建议改为:students are no longer...; they also... 或 students are no longer... and also...
原文:choose enjoying
批改:choose enjoying -> choose to enjoy (choose 后接动词不定式 to do)
原文:releasing stress as
批改:releasing stress -> relieving stress (同上)
原文:ore reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why so many students choose enjoying scenery and releasing stress as their traveling purpose. In addition, As the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present. "Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traveling has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.
批改:本段从“精神享受”和“缓解压力”两个维度分析原因,思路清晰,论点与图表数据高度契合
原文:hoice of stud
批改:the choice -> the choices (指代学生的多种旅游目的,应用复数)
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
同学,你好!这篇作文完成得极其出色
1. 语言方面:
你的语言运用能力非常强。全文表意清晰,句子通顺流畅,且能娴熟使用 percentage breakdown, takes the lead, microcosm 等高级词汇和复杂句式。这体现了你扎实的语言功底。仅存的几个用词和语法小瑕疵,通过仔细检查完全可以避免。
2. 结构方面:
你的文章结构“描述-分析-预测”的三段式逻辑环环相扣,层层递进。尤其值得称赞的是,你的分析段能够提出紧密围绕图表数据的、具有说服力的论点,并且结尾段能进行有效升华,这展现了优秀的逻辑思维和谋篇布局能力。
总的修改建议:
你的作文已经非常优秀,这里仅提供一些锦上添花的建议:
在完稿后,请务必留出时间专门排查拼写、大小写(如University/university)和名词单复数(choice/choices)这些非智力性失分点。
句法打磨:留意并避免“逗号粘连”现象,使用分号或连词来连接完整的独立分句。
优化论证顺序:让原因的排列与图表数据的重要性(从高到低)或逻辑的递进关系保持一致。
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