考研英语一2010年大作文失分点批改

2010年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目

考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there is a hot pot, many words in it. Evidently the picture intends to convey to readers that it is our culture that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost. While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated the traditional culture is one that should never lost its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. On the one hand. In modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, culture has become a key factor, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, traditional holds exceptional significance for a nation as it serves as a crucial comerstone for boasting overall national strength further propelling social stability and sustainable development. On the other hand, neglecting culture is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its inter-national image.

In brief, culture is the catalyst for societal and personal dlevelopment, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture .Only by doing so can we make world shine with renewed brilliance

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：there is a hot pot, many

批改：there is a hot pot, many words in it：这是一个典型的串句错误，两个独立的意群被逗号错误连接。应改为 ...a hot pot containing many cultural elements 或 ...a hot pot, and it contains many words/elements。

原文： it is our culture that

批改：it is our culture that play：在it is... that...的强调句型中，谓语动词应与被强调的主语our culture（单数）一致，故应改为 that plays。

原文：shown in the picture, there is a hot pot, many words in it. Evidently the picture intends to convey to readers that it is our culture that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society

批改：你直接点明了图画的核心象征（文化火锅）并揭示了其寓意，这很高效。但图画描述稍显单薄，可以更生动地描绘一下“火锅”中的“食材”（如中西方哲学、文学、艺术等元素），让描述更具体。主要问题在于句子结构的完整性。

原文： First and foremost. Wh

批改：First and foremost. / On the one hand.：这些是过渡性短语，后面不能直接接句号成为独立句子，应改为逗号与主句相连。

原文：hould never lost

批改：should never lost：情态动词should后应接动词原形，故应为 should never lose。

原文：traditional holds exceptio

批改：traditional holds：缺少名词，应为 traditional culture holds

原文： comerston

批改：comerstone 拼写错误，应为 cornerstone

原文： boasting ov

批改：boasting：用词错误，想表达的应是“提升”，应为 boosting。

原文： inter-natio

批改：inter-national：应为 international

原文：his phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost. While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated the traditional culture is one that should never lost its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. On the one hand. In modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, culture has become a key factor, and its significance has become increasingly evident. What is more, traditional holds exceptional significance for a nation as it serves as a crucial comerstone for boasting overall national strength further propelling social stability and sustainable development. On the other hand, neglecting culture is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its inter-national image.

批改：你提出了许多有价值的观点，如文化的“粘结剂”作用、对国家实力的重要性以及忽视文化的后果，并且再次使用了“heavy chain”这个有力的比喻。本段的核心问题在于逻辑衔接词使用不当，导致论证层次不清晰，削弱了说理的力量。

原文：al dlevelopm

批改：dlevelopment 拼写错误，应为 development。

原文：we make world

批改：make world：world为可数名词，此处特指，前面需加冠词 make the world。

原文：brillian

批改：brillianc 拼写错误，应为 brilliance

原文：rief, culture is the catalyst for societal and personal dlevelopment, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture .Only by doing so can we make world shine with renewed brilliance

批改：结尾总结有力，再次强调了文化的重要性并发出了呼吁。特别是“catalyst”（催化剂）一词用得非常精准、高级。结尾句的倒装句式也使用正确。只需修正拼写和冠词等细节即可。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14分

你这篇作文的立意非常高，视野开阔，展现了你对文化价值的深刻理解。你使用的词汇（如catalyst, cornerstone, luster）和句式也体现了良好的语言积累。

给你的核心提升建议：

理清论证逻辑链：在写主体段前，先用中文简单列出你的分论点。确保每个论点相对独立，并用最恰当的连接词（如Firstly, Moreover, Lastly）串联起来，避免混用On one hand... On the other hand...（通常用于对比）和What is more...（用于递进）。

实施检查：你已经有意识使用高级词汇，下一步是确保它们的拼写和搭配绝对正确。在完稿后，请专项检查名词的可数性、动词的形态和介词搭配。

丰富图画描述：用一两句话具体描绘漫画内容，让没看过图的人也能立即产生画面感，这是打动阅卷老师的第一步。

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