思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2024年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy saying that, "The newly built park near my home is really good!" In the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2011.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, with the rapid development of society, people attach more importance to exercising and make it a part of their daily routine. In fact, people are conscious of that physical health is the basis of all activities.In addition, our government makes tremendous efforts to improve the infrastrutures in order to provide more sports area. Therefore, we can exercise more conveniently and freely. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy saying that, "The newly built park near my home is really good!"
批改:清晰地描述了图片中左侧漫画的内容,语句通顺,表意明确。
原文:In the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks in a certain city experienced a significant increase of 264 from 2020 to 2011.
批改:准确描述了右侧柱状图的信息,但时间顺序存在错误,从逻辑上应该是从2011年到2020年数量增加。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:起到了承上启下的作用,自然地引出下文对现象原因的分析,结构清晰。
原文:To start with, with the rapid development of society, people attach more importance to exercising and make it a part of their daily routine.
批改:从社会发展角度分析人们重视锻炼的原因,逻辑合理,表达较为流畅。
原文: In fact, people are conscious of that physical health is the basis of all activities
批改:此句存在语法错误,“conscious of that”表述错误,应去掉“that”。
原文:In addition, our government makes tremendous efforts to improve the infrastrutures in order to provide more sports area.
批改:指出政府为提供更多运动场地所做的努力,但“infrastrutures”拼写错误,应为“infrastructures”
原文:Therefore, we can exercise more conveniently and freely. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:得出基于上述原因图表现象合理的结论,逻辑连贯。
原文:What about future trends?
批改:以提问的方式自然地引出对未来趋势的讨论,过渡自然。
原文:I am confident that the number of exercise participants and that of parks will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:明确表达了对未来锻炼人数和公园数量增加的信心,语句通顺。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/20
题目要求:文章较好地涵盖了题目要求的三个方面。首先,对左侧漫画中男孩的话语以及右侧柱状图里某城市公园数量在2011 - 2020年间的增长情况进行了描述;其次,解读了图表所反映现象背后的原因,包括社会发展促使人们重视锻炼以及政府为提供运动场地所做的努力;最后,对未来锻炼人数和公园数量的增长趋势做出了预测,符合题目要求。字数少了一点。
语言表达:部分表达流畅自然:如“To start with, with the rapid development of society, people attach more importance to exercising and make it a part of their daily routine.”以及“Therefore, we can exercise more conveniently and freely.”等句子,语句通顺,表意清晰,能够自然地表达观点。
内容层面:从社会发展和政府举措两个方面分析了公园数量增加以及人们重视锻炼的原因,具有一定的逻辑性和合理性。社会发展促使人们重视健康,将锻炼纳入日常生活;政府努力改善基础设施,为人们提供更多运动空间,这两个方面的阐述能够较好地解释图表所反映的现象。
修改建议:仔细检查文章中的语法错误,如上述提到的“conscious of that”和“infrastrutures”等问题,确保语言表达的准确性。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2024年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考