作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一写作技巧常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon. There are two persons, sitting on a boat, throwing rubbish to the river, which pollutes the environment. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey us that protecting the environment and having the public morality is critial to our society.
The phenomenon is thought-provoking in many aspects. But two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, it is lack of the environmental awareness and knowledge pushes mankind to neglect protecting environment. On the other hand, environmental protection holds exceptional significance of the nature, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength and shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. Enviromental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only depriving public morality but also affecting the international competitiveness.
Therefore, our government shoulde enact and enforce related laws and enhance supervision to avoid the environment excessive pollution. Also, we should actively support and advocate the regulations, from which we all stand to benefit. only in this way can we mack our world shine brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
批改:逗号
原文:There
批改:there首字母小写
原文:critial
批改:critical
原文:As shown in the cartoon. There are two persons, sitting on a boat, throwing rubbish to the river, which pollutes the environment. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey us that protecting the environment and having the public morality is critial to our society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
批改:加that构成强调句
原文:e phenomenon is thought-provoking in many aspects. But two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, it is lack of the environmental awareness and knowledge pushes mankind to neglect protecting environment. On the other hand, environmental protection holds exceptional significance of the nature, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength and shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. Enviromental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only depriving public morality but also affecting the international competitiveness.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:shoulde
批改:should
原文:environment excessive pollution.
批改:excessive environment pollution
原文:only
批改:only首字母大写
原文:mack
批改:make
原文:herefore, our government shoulde enact and enforce related laws and enhance supervision to avoid the environment excessive pollution. Also, we should actively support and advocate the regulations, from which we all stand to benefit. only in this way can we mack our world shine brilliance.
批改:该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施,注意避免拼写错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式和语法方面,注意强调句结构的完整,正确使用标点断句;逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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