进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语一一还是考研英语一二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon,there are two visitors watching the sense and throwing the rubbish into the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the pollution of environment is an issue that requires attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant . First and foremost, neglecting protecting environment is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international competitiveness. What is more, tragically, although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that individuals, in their pursuit of convenience, have disregarded protecting the environment.
How can we put an end to the problem of the pollution of environment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including promoting people morality and reinforcing behavioral standards. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to issue related laws. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:As shown in the cartoon,there are two visitors watching the sense and throwing the rubbish into the river
批改:① 标点补充 “cartoon,there”→“cartoon, two”(句间停顿规范,考研基础格式);② 拼写错误 “sense”→“scenery”(“欣赏风景” 为 “watch/enjoy the scenery”,考研高频词汇);③ 冗余冠词 “the rubbish”→“rubbish”(不可数名词表泛指无需加 “the”);
原文:equires attention
批改:② 补充程度副词 “great”(“requires great attention” 比 “requires attention” 更贴合 “需重视” 的语义强度,考研表达升级)
原文:neglecting protecting environment
批改:① 搭配优化 “neglecting protecting environment”→“neglecting environmental protection”(名词短语作宾语,更简洁规范,考研核心搭配)
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of the pollution of environment?
批改:修改后:How can we put an end to environmental pollution? 修改原因:① 冗余表达 “the problem of the pollution of environment”(重复且繁琐,“environmental pollution” 直接作宾语,符合考研简洁要求);② 避免重复核心词汇,提升表达效率。
原文:laws
批改:补充 “regulations”(“laws and regulations” 为考研法律类高频搭配,比单独 “laws” 更全面,符合环保治理的实际语境)
原文:With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:表达不错
原文:although the lack of behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon,
批改:搭配不错哦
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语一大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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