作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2011年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一大作文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
2011大作文
As shown in the picture, there are two people sitting on the boat and toasting rubbish into the river, which has filled with garbage. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of environmental conservation is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. Environmental protection is everyone’s responsibility. What is more, to protect the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation. as it serves as a crucial cornestone for further propelling social stabilty and sustainable development. As President Xi says, "Lucid waters and lush mountains are invaluable assets."
How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issung related laws and enhancing moral education. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:toasti
批改:throwing
原文:ch has filled with garba
批改:非限制性定从不是这样用的,一般是以前面整句作为先行词,所以意思也是前面的整句意思,不是river这个词,这是与限制性定从的区别。 改为which makes this river be filled with..
原文:as filled with garbage. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:描述漫画比较中规中矩,主题找的很准确,句子结构可以,但是注意非限制性定从的使用。
原文:to protect
批改:这里用ing形式更好哦,protecting
批改:逗号
原文:nesto
批改:cornerstone
原文:P
批改:小写
原文:menon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the virtue of environmental conservation is one that should never lose its luster, as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. Environmental protection is everyone’s responsibility. What is more, to protect the environment holds exceptional significance for a nation. as it serves as a crucial cornestone for further propelling social stabilty and sustainable development. As President Xi says, "Lucid waters and lush mountains are invaluable assets."
批改:最后一句点题,写的不错,用得比较好,可以算一种亮点。内容分析的比较到位,句子结构符合英文写作特点,注意一些小错误。
原文: "Lucid waters and lush mountains are invaluable assets
批改:很棒
原文:to
批改:self-discipline 不是动词,如果是动词的话,意思也不是自律的意思,所以只能是名词,就不能用to了,删掉to,用the
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
语法:语法上注意标点,非限制性定从的用法,动名词和动词不定式的区别,词性等还需要加强学习。
逻辑:整体逻辑可以的,读起来比较通顺。
词汇:单词整体比较好,但是存在错误的地方。
内容:内容比较符合英文作文写作要求,结构合理,运用习主席的话点亮主题。
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