考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2013年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon which is named as"the choice", there is a group of graduates just entering the society. In front of them, there are multiple parths for them to choose from. Such as looking for jobs immediately, participating in the postgradate entrance examination and starting up business by themselves. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that nowadays, graduates have numerous development choices.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly signiticant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, choosing a appropriate life path has became a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. Only by choosing the right way can make our lives shine with unique luster. On the other hand, perseverance acts as a role of equal importance to choice. Only through persistent efforts, we can achieve the goals we have chosen.

In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for both graduates" and the society"s development. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：own in the cartoon which is named as"the choice", there is a group of graduates just entering the society. In front of them, there are multiple parths for them to choose from. Such as looking for jobs immediately, participating in the postgradate entrance examination and starting up business by themselves. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that nowadays, graduates have numerous development choices.

批改：开篇成功描述了图画场景并引出了核心观点。

原文： from. Such as looking for jo

批改：“Such as...” 是一个不完整的句子，它不能独立成句，需要与前面的句子合并。“parths” 是 “paths” 的拼写错误。“postgradate” 缺少一个 “u”，应为 “postgraduate”。

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly signiticant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, choosing a appropriate life path has became a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident. Only by choosing the right way can make our lives shine with unique luster. On the other hand, perseverance acts as a role of equal importance to choice. Only through persistent efforts, we can achieve the goals we have chosen.

批改：本段从“选择”和“坚持”两个层面论证，思路很好，体现了辩证思考。“shines with unique luster”这个表达也非常优美。

原文：gniticant. On the o

批改：signiticant” 是 “significant” 的拼写错误。“a appropriate” 中， “appropriate” 以元音开头，冠词应使用 “an”。“has became” 是错误的动词形式，完成时应为 “has become”。

原文：y choosing the right way

批改：“Only by choosing the right way can make our lives...” 这个句子缺少主语，是一个常见的语法错误。“Only by...” 结构后应接倒装句，其正确形式是 “Only by choosing... can we make our lives...”。同样，“Only through persistent efforts, we can achieve...” 也是错误结构，应为 “Only through... can we achieve...”

原文：brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for both graduates" and the society"s development. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, fulfill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次升华主题，并将个人选择与社会发展联系起来，提升了文章格局。“catalyst”一词也用得非常精准。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的作文内容切题，结构严谨，论证充分，并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于语法结构的精准把握和论述的集中度。

总评与建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和辩证的思维。你不仅能精准描述漫画，更能从“选择”与“坚持”这两个关键点展开论述，并能将个人价值与社会发展相联系，这展现了很高的写作素养。

当前，我们可以集中精力提升句法结构的精准度和论述的聚焦能力。你的文章思想和词汇量都很出色，现在需要让复杂的句子结构与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是：

掌握“Only”倒装句：请务必掌握 “Only + 状语” 位于句首时，主句必须采用部分倒装（即疑问句语序）这一核心规则。这是写作中的高频考点和高分句法点。

保持论述聚焦：当你有多个好的论点时（如选择与坚持），思考如何让它们共同支撑一个最核心的主题（如“做出明智选择并坚持之”），使文章形成一股合力，论证会更有力。

本文展示的2013年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。