考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一真题核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father sitting on the sofa and requiring his children to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a father making an effort to work and his children also studying hard. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is positive examples that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, positive examples can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather that being self-consuming. What is more, positive examples hold exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stablity and sustainable development.

In brief, positive example is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively support and advocate this practice.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the left-hand cartoon, there is a father sitting on the sofa and requiring his children to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, there is a father making an effort to work and his children also studying hard. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is positive examples that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：图画描述清晰，对比鲜明，寓意总结到位。

原文：phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, positive examples can ignite our creativity and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather that being self-consuming. What is more, positive examples hold exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stablity and sustainable development.

批改：从个人与社会两个层面论证，结构清晰

原文：rather tha

批改：“rather that” 是笔误，应为 “rather than”。“stablity” 拼写错误，应为 “stability”。

原文：s it serves as a crucial cor

批改：第二个论点中，代词“it”指代的是“positive examples”（复数），因此应改为“as they serve”。同时，“shaping national morals”的表述可以更具体，例如：“fostering a culture of integrity and responsibility”。

原文： brief, positive example is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively support and advoca

批改：结尾段总结有力。可以稍作优化，使指代更明确，结论更充实。

原文：f, positive example is the catalyst for social and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore we should actively support and advocate this pra

批改：“positive example”作为可数名词单数，前面需要加冠词“a”。 “this practice”的指代可以更清晰，改为“this practice of setting positive examples”。 结尾处可以重申其重要性，与开头呼应，使文章更完整。例如，可以加上：“By doing so, we pave the way for a more harmonious and progressive society.”

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的文章在内容完整性、组织结构、语言丰富度和语法准确性方面都表现良好。

逻辑的深度挖掘：在给出观点后，再向前推进一步，简要解释“为什么”或“如何”实现，让论证更饱满。

语言的精准与一致：仔细检查名词的单复数与冠词、主谓一致等细节。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一真题常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。