考研英语一2024年大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2024年考研英语一批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语一写作冲刺教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

Relaxedly and delightfully, in the left picture,some citizens are working out in the park,with one of them saying,”The newly-built park near our home is pretty good!” Simultaneously, in the right bar chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 409,but by 2022,this figure had risen to 670.

Several factors contribute to the observed phenomenon, with the following three standing out.To begin with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and exercise.In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build more and more parks,enabling residents to relax and exercise.Last but not least,nowadays, citizens are compelled to confront immense life pressure , and as a result, doing exercise in the park has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

In light of the above analysis,we may reasonably conclude that the number of parks and exercisers is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the foreseeable future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：xedly and delightfully, in the left picture,some citizens are working out in the park,with one of them saying,”The newly-built park near our home is pretty good!” Simultaneously, in the right bar chart, in 2020, the number of parks in a certain city was 409,but by 2022,this figure had risen to 670.

批改：这一段完成了对两幅图的描述，要点齐全。

原文：eral factors contribute to the observed phenomenon, with the following three standing out.To begin with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health and exercise.In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build more and more parks,enabling residents to relax and exercise.Last but not least,nowadays, citizens are compelled to confront immense life pressure , and as a result, doing exercise in the park has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.

批改：这一段的结构非常棒！用“Several factors...”、“To begin with”、“In addition”、“Last but not least”这些连接词，让三个原因层次分明，逻辑清晰。论点也都切中要害

原文：ght of the above analysis,we may reasonably conclude that the number of parks and exercisers is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the foreseeable future.

批改：结尾段简洁有力，得出了合理的结论并进行了展望，非常好地完成了总结的任务

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17

这篇作文完成得非常出色！结构清晰，逻辑连贯，内容要点一个不落，并且能运用一些高级词汇和复杂句式。这说明你具备了很好的写作功底。

给你几个小建议，帮助你的作文向满分冲刺：

追求地道的简洁：可以尝试将一些口语化或略显冗余的表达（如“as we all know”, “more and more”），替换成更书面、更精炼的词汇。

注意主谓一致：在写长句子时，多留心一下主语和谓语动词的单复数是否匹配。

保持客观视角：在图表描述段，尝试用转述代替直接引语，这会让你的文章风格更统一、更显学术性

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