考研英语一2016年大作文怎么写？附例文批改

思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2016年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

请在各题目的答区E内作答,即出界区的答案无效 Section Il Writing Part A

51. There are two couples of father and son on the pictures. One of them which father is watching TV and the son is unwilling to do homework, the other are studying together and the son is glad to study. The comparison of the attitude of two kids tells us that compare to tell children that you should study hard, we should set an example as parents.

Nowadays, with the techsnology growing, we take more and more attention to the grades our children ge get in order to let them go to a better university and get a greater job. But, at the same time, most of parents ignore the what is the most important thing for children that is the action of palents. It"s hard for children to understand those obscure principles of life. However, they will think it"s right to study hard and imitate what parents do if parents lead by example. Therefore, there is no better way to educate children expect parents set an example. It"s not only applicage in learning, but also in all aspects of life.

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效

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三、考研英语作文批改

原文：There are two couples of father and son on the pictures.

批改：“couples of”表述错误，“couple”本身就表示“一对”，这里用“pairs of”更合适；“on the pictures”表述不准确，应是“in the pictures”。

原文：One of them which father is watching TV and the son is unwilling to do homework, the other are studying together and the son is glad to study.

批改：此句语法错误较多。“One of them which...”关系代词使用错误，应改为“One of whom”；“the other are”主谓不一致，“the other”指代另一对父子，谓语应用“is”

原文：The comparison of the attitude of two kids tells us that compare to tell children that you should study hard, we should set an example as parents.

批改：“compare to”使用错误，应是“compared to”

原文：Nowadays, with the techsnology growing, we take more and more attention to the grades our children ge get in order to let them go to a better university and get a greater job.

批改：“techsnology”拼写错误，应是“technology”；“take more and more attention to”搭配错误，应是“pay more and more attention to”；“ge get”拼写错误，应是“get”；“greater job”表述不准确，应是“better job”。

原文：But, at the same time, most of parents ignore the what is the most important thing for children that is the action of palents.

批改：“most of parents”应改为“most parents”；“ignore the what is...”句式杂糅，可改为“ignore what is...”；“palents”拼写错误，应是“parents”。

原文：It"s hard for children to understand those obscure principles of life.

批改：句子表达准确，清晰地说明了孩子难以理解生活道理这一情况。

原文：However, they will think it"s right to study hard and imitate what parents do if parents lead by example.

批改：句子逻辑清晰，表达流畅，说明了父母以身作则对孩子产生的积极影响。

原文：Therefore, there is no better way to educate children expect parents set an example.

批改：“expect”拼写错误，应是“except”；句子整体表意明确，强调了父母以身作则的重要性。

原文：It"s not only applicage in learning, but also in all aspects of life.

批改：“applicage”拼写错误，应是“applicable”；句子想表达这种方式不仅适用于学习，还适用于生活各方面

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

题目要求：在解读含义上，指出父母以身作则对孩子教育的重要性，与图片所传达的核心思想有一定关联；在评论部分，也围绕此观点展开论述。而且字数有点偏少了。

语言表达：拼写错误频发，如“techsnology”“ge get”“palents”“applicage”等，严重影响理解。词汇搭配不当，像“take more and more attention to”应改为“pay more and more attention to” ；用词不够准确丰富，多次重复使用简单词汇，如“study”多次出现，未运用同义词或近义词替换，使文章显得单调。

修改建议：加强语法学习，系统掌握句子结构、时态、语态等语法知识。平时多进行语法练习，分析错误原因，不断改进。

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。