考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2016年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left hand cartoon, a man sitting on the chair, smokingTV, watching TV and telling his son go to study. On the contrast, a man studying with his son in the right-hand cartoon. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is be a good example can play an important and positive role both in child"s live.

Parent be a good example can nurture child"s soul, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillingment, rather than being self-consuming. While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, to parents, the virtue of being good examples should never lose its luster. On the other hand , being a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress ,leaving them with a negative attitude on life.

In brief, being a good example is the catalyst for child"s development. Additionally, we must be aware of the negative effects of being bad examples to ensure child"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left hand cartoon, a man sitting on the chair, smokingTV, watching TV and telling his son go to study.

批改：没有谓语动词。In the ​​left-hand cartoon, a man sits on a chair, ​​smoking and watching TV​​, telling his son ​​to​​ go study

原文：contrast,

批改：On the contrary

原文：studying

批改：is studying

原文： be a good example

批改：being a good example

原文： child"s

批改：前面加a

原文：In the left hand cartoon, a man sitting on the chair, smokingTV, watching TV and telling his son go to study. On the contrast, a man studying with his son in the right-hand cartoon. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is be a good example can play an important and positive role both in child"s live.

批改：意思对，注意语法错误。

原文：Parent be a good example can nurture child"s soul

批改：Being a good example​​ can nurture children’s souls

原文：to

批改：for

原文：Parent be a good example can nurture child"s soul, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillingment, rather than being self-consuming. While certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, to parents, the virtue of being good examples should never lose its luster. On the other hand , being a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress ,leaving them with a negative attitude on life.

批改：这段再多写一两句话，保证字数

原文：child"s

批改： ​​children’s​

原文：child"s

批改： ​​children’s​

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20分。

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明，字数157，再多写两句话，不要刚刚卡着160字；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，强调句，非谓语结构和状语从句句型很棒；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯；

4.要多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，形成自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2016年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一写作技巧冲刺保驾护航。