考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2011年考研英语一大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

What a meaningful cartoon!As the shown in the picture,the are two people traveling by a boat on the river,with a number of rubbish floating on the river.Besides,there is a sentence which reads after traveling.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that avoid littering is an issuethat requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.

The phenomenon is harmful for the development of our nation.On the one hand,if we were broke our environment casually,it would destroy the home we rely on the survival.On the another hand,the behavior is the symbol of moral degeneration.Its influence being terrible,our society becomes worsen because of the question of the moral degeneration.

Facing with the problem,government are supposed to establish relevant laws to prohibit the ways that is not beneficial of our society.In the same time,as a honourable people,we should enhance the awareness of protecting our environment and strangening our morality.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the

批改：去掉

原文：are two people

批改：two people are

原文：What a meaningful cartoon!As the shown in the picture,the are two people traveling by a boat on the river,with a number of rubbish floating on the river.Besides,there is a sentence which reads after traveling.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that avoid littering is an issuethat requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：were

批改：were去掉

原文：broke

批改：破坏环境的破坏用damage或destroy更合适

原文：the

批改：改成for

原文：another

批改：改成other

原文：worsen

批改：worsen是动词，改成形容词worse

原文：question

批改：改成problem

原文：The phenomenon is harmful for the development of our nation.On the one hand,if we were broke our environment casually,it would destroy the home we rely on the survival.On the another hand,the behavior is the symbol of moral degeneration.Its influence being terrible,our society becomes worsen because of the question of the moral degeneration.

批改：运用逻辑关系词使得句与句衔接连贯，注意避免语言上的错误

原文：are

批改：注意主谓一致，改成is

原文：is

批改：前面的ways是复数，改成are

原文：of

批改：改成for或to表示对于

原文：In

批改：改成At，at the same time与此同时

原文：strangening

批改：strengthening

原文：Facing with the problem,government are supposed to establish relevant laws to prohibit the ways that is not beneficial of our society.In the same time,as a honourable people,we should enhance the awareness of protecting our environment and strangening our morality.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误，固定的短语要记牢，介词要使用正确；句式和语法方面，注意区分词性和主谓一致问题，以及一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的比较认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

本文的2011年考研英语一高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文万能句型写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲，配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务，是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。