考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一大作文常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture,there are two young men,sitting on the ship,enjoying the views and throwing many rubbish into river,which pollute the water.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,environmental protection holds exceptional significant for a nation,as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for safeguarding public,further propelling social stability and sustainable development.On the other hand,tragically,although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon,its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals,in their pursuit to this interests,have disregarded environmental protection.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issuing related regulations and enhancing supervision.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： pollute

批改：从句的主语是 扔垃圾的行为，此处要用三单形式，改为 pollutes

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

原文：many

批改：rubbish 是不可数名词，不能用 many 来修饰, 可改为 a lot of

原文：ship

批改：ship 通常指大型的海船、轮船, 此处改为 boat 更合适

原文：views

批改：当 view 表示“看到的景色、风光”时，通常用作不可数名词。说“欣赏风景”时，更地道的说法是 enjoying the view。

批改：语法正确

原文：significant

批改：此处为名词，改为 significance

原文：to

批改：此处常用搭配为 of

原文： this

批改：this 后面加的是可数名词单数，此处可改为 economic

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：public

批改：此处为名词短语，没有表达完整，改为 public health

批改：语法正确

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法错误，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，试着多用自己的话来写，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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