距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年,写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2024年考研英语一批改范例,紧扣考研英语一作文范文写作锦囊要点,全文结构严谨、表达地道,适合所有2027考生。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there stands a man at the park’s fitness area, with many people engaging in various exercises around him, and he exclaims that the park near his home is truly pleasant. Meanwhile, the right-hand bar chart depicts the number of parks in a certain city from 2020 to 2022, with an annual increase of around 130 parks. Obviously, the cartoon and the chart convey that the government is placing greater emphasis not only on citizens’ fitness but also on the improvement of public living environments.
This phenomenon arises from multiple factors, two of which stand out. On one hand, amid the growing pressure of work and life, an increasing number of people begin to focus on their physical health. Thus, they are in need of green spaces where they can relax, do exercises and enhance their fitness. On the other hand, in recent years, the government is paying growing attention to building livable cities and raising public awareness of physical fitness by formulating policies and organizing activities.
In brief, building parks not only boosts the beauty of the city but also meets the citizens’ daily fitness needs. Therefore, as the government provides us with fitness equipment and spaces, we should also raise our awareness of exercise and promote a social trend of widespread physical activity.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there stands a man at the park’s fitness area, with many people engaging in various exercises around him, and he exclaims that the park near his home is truly pleasant. Meanwhile, the right-hand bar chart depicts the number of parks in a certain city from 2020 to 2022, with an annual increase of around 130 parks. Obviously, the cartoon and the chart convey that the government is placing greater emphasis not only on citizens’ fitness but also on the improvement of public living environments.
批改:对漫画和图标的描述都很准确,最后一句把“优化居住环境”和“国民健康”调换下顺序会更好,因为重点在于国民健康
原文:begin
批改:用现在完成时have begun更恰当
原文:exercises
批改:exercise表示日常身体锻炼时为不可数名词,应去掉s
原文:This phenomenon arises from multiple factors, two of which stand out. On one hand, amid the growing pressure of work and life, an increasing number of people begin to focus on their physical health. Thus, they are in need of green spaces where they can relax, do exercises and enhance their fitness. On the other hand, in recent years, the government is paying growing attention to building livable cities and raising public awareness of physical fitness by formulating policies and organizing activities.
批改:从国民健康需求和政府举措两方面分析公园数量增加的原因,表达较为通顺,注意 个别语法问题
原文:In brief, building parks not only boosts the beauty of the city but also meets the citizens’ daily fitness needs. Therefore, as the government provides us with fitness equipment and spaces, we should also raise our awareness of exercise and promote a social trend of widespread physical activity.
批改:呼应上文,强调 国民健康的重要性,表达通顺
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
题目要求:对漫画内容描绘全面,论述内容切题,注意第一段的立意还可以优化下;
语言表达:全文用了较多自己的语言,包含一些比较地道的句子结构,只有极个别较小的语法问题,整体上 思路清晰,语言通顺;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容并表达个人观点,第二段详细论述,第三段呼应上文总结全文,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;优化立意句;保持日常写作练习;
这篇完成得较好,继续保持啊~
透过这篇2024年考研英语一批改范文,相信你对考研英语一作文范文的写作框架有了更深入的认识。启航教育长期为考研英语考生提供一对一专业作文批改,从词汇、语法到结构系统诊断失分点,欢迎在线咨询预约免费批改名额。
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